I've become increasingly aggravated with the dress standard nowadays. Girls need to stop flaunting their bodies like some sex object and the men need to stop dressing like women, come on!
But Jotty, remember? There's a whole thing about freedom of speech.
Yeah, well remember what I said before about that? Your right to swing your fist ends where my nose begins. Plus, do they have any sense of dignity? Any sense of, well, common sense? If a girl dresses like that, she's gonna get guys looking her way, but not at her face, no they're gonna find every chance and reason to look up her skirt and down her shirt. How do guys even think that tight pants are comfy? I remember when that was the only pair of pants I had in fourth grade, and kids made fun of me for it, but then five years later they're wearing even tighter pants, wtc?! How do you even fit in that? How is your ... special place ... even comfy? ugh, I don't even wanna think about it.
And the multiple piercings and tattoos? Piercings are like sneezes; two in a row is ok, but once you hit five then it's annoying. You look like you fell face first into a tackle box, how in the world do you think its cool? I've always had this weird fear of tattoos, like if I see someone with tattoos then I'm immediately intimidated by them, I have no idea why to be honest. Why do you get tattoos everywhere though? I mean yeah to get them on the arm or leg is ok or whatever, but why would you get it on your back, neck, or sensitive areas? How are you going to see them on your back and who in the world is going to look at the other ones? That's just a waste of freakin money!
And what is this telling the youth of our generation? That it's ok to dress our girls as sluts? That's a surefire way to get them raped! And the men? That it's ok for us to look like complete morons? Shame on you, people, Shame Shame Shame.
Personally, I want people to know me for who I am. Anyone is comfortable talking to a well-groomed but casual guy, but only a few kinds of people can stand talking to someone who has metal rings and pictures all over his body, or women who showcase their boobs and butt. Do they like people staring at them in disgust? Do they like little kids laughing at them cuz they look funny or running away scared of them? I can throw a ping pong ball through your ear, that gets your attention? Why are you mad? You're the one who put those holes there. Now little kids are gonna hook you up with carabiners and pretend they're climbing a mountain. Oh, you're mad again? But you put them there, you should have known this kinda stuff would have happened.
You hear about women getting raped and stuff like that, how did they dress? Most likely, it's known they dressed pretty poorly, yet people are still shocked that it happened. "But she was the sweetest girl, she was friends with everyone" yeah, I'll bet she was, but having a nice personality, unfortunately, does not cancel out her slutty clothing, cuz the dude's not going to ask her what she's like before he abuses her, that's what raping is about; they just do it and leave the girl there after they've been satisfied. They don't give a crap what she's like inside, they just see that she's "hot" and notice that she dresses poorly, and that tells them that she wants attention and sex, which of course is probably not true, but that's what the guy sees.
Its things like this that make me so glad that I'm in love with her and not anyone else, I doubt she would even consider the thought of dressing like that. She's smart and beautiful and goodhearted, and that's really all that matters. I love her with all my heart <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Through the Glass
When you get what you want in your struggle for self,
and the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself,
and see what the man has to say.
For it isn't your father or mother or wife,
whose judgements upon you must pass;
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life,
is the one staring back Through the Glass.
Some people may say you're a straight shootin' chum,
and think you're a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum,
if you can't look him straight in the eye.
He's the fellow to please - never mind all the rest,
for he's with you clear up to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test,
if the man in the glass is your friend.
You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
and get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears,
if you've cheated the man in the glass.
-Anonymous-
I heard this once and really liked it, there are only a few poems that I like, because I don't like poetry in general, my english teachers were weird about it so I blame them, lol.
I just had a big discussion with my parents about issues in a circle of people we know. I don't understand how anyone can be as un-Christlike as this man, instead of reaching out to help someone who is obviously in critical need of fellowshipping, he refuses to even speak to her. He is so full of pride that he looks down on our family and refuses to apologize for wronging us whenever something happens. I say refuse because he KNOWS he was wrong, but he will NOT admit it. He has only selfish, prideful feelings and doesn't want to be proved wrong by anyone, ESPECIALLY a woman.
Before the discussion, I watched an incredible movie that some might mistake for a chick-flick, Tangled. I don't like really romantic movies, but I do like cute, comedic, love stories. I've always wanted to be in one of those kinds of relationships with a girl; being romantic at one point then wrestling each other to get the last cookie with one of us finally sitting atop the other in triumph while munching on the cookie in the next moment. That's why I love Karalea so much, cuz I'm pretty sure I could hold her hand and stare into her eyes, and then she would fight for that cookie and win, lol.
and the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself,
and see what the man has to say.
For it isn't your father or mother or wife,
whose judgements upon you must pass;
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life,
is the one staring back Through the Glass.
Some people may say you're a straight shootin' chum,
and think you're a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum,
if you can't look him straight in the eye.
He's the fellow to please - never mind all the rest,
for he's with you clear up to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test,
if the man in the glass is your friend.
You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
and get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears,
if you've cheated the man in the glass.
-Anonymous-
I heard this once and really liked it, there are only a few poems that I like, because I don't like poetry in general, my english teachers were weird about it so I blame them, lol.
I just had a big discussion with my parents about issues in a circle of people we know. I don't understand how anyone can be as un-Christlike as this man, instead of reaching out to help someone who is obviously in critical need of fellowshipping, he refuses to even speak to her. He is so full of pride that he looks down on our family and refuses to apologize for wronging us whenever something happens. I say refuse because he KNOWS he was wrong, but he will NOT admit it. He has only selfish, prideful feelings and doesn't want to be proved wrong by anyone, ESPECIALLY a woman.
Before the discussion, I watched an incredible movie that some might mistake for a chick-flick, Tangled. I don't like really romantic movies, but I do like cute, comedic, love stories. I've always wanted to be in one of those kinds of relationships with a girl; being romantic at one point then wrestling each other to get the last cookie with one of us finally sitting atop the other in triumph while munching on the cookie in the next moment. That's why I love Karalea so much, cuz I'm pretty sure I could hold her hand and stare into her eyes, and then she would fight for that cookie and win, lol.
Unforgiven
I believe in the power of forgiveness. There's not a person whom I haven't forgiven. I've found through experience that to forgive someone not only helps them, but it also helps you. It helps you to put it out of your mind, so you can forget about it. I've learned that the power of forgiveness has no limits and heals age-old wounds. One person I've found very hard to forgive, however, is myself. If I've ever screwed up about anything I beat myself up about it. Eventually I can get over it but it takes a while to realize who the feelings REALLY come from, ya know? But to be Unforgiven by someone really hurts me, and it takes much longer to get over it. The only times its happened, though, were only for stupid reasons, so I haven't had much of a problem with it, thankfully.
I found a bookmark that has a poem on it that I really like:
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low, and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won, had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far.
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem worse, that you must not quit.
There's another I've found, but I'll save it for another post, lol
I found a bookmark that has a poem on it that I really like:
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low, and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won, had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far.
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem worse, that you must not quit.
There's another I've found, but I'll save it for another post, lol
Monday, August 29, 2011
Perform This Way
Just read her blog ... now I wanna talk about music, hahaha, although I DID think about writing about it before, so I hope she doesn't see me as a copycat ><
I am a loyal listener of Rock and Metal, but I am also choosy of what I listen to. Before I download a song, I look up the lyrics and if they have any one or more of what's on my "list" then I don't dowload it at all:
-tons of cursing
-F bomb
-sexual references
-hidden meanings
-anti anything, but mainly military, God, or women
-tons of screaming
Stuff like that. I don't mind a word here and there, like D or H, but I don't like A and B, and F definitely means I don't like it. I also only like plain Metal, meaning stuff from the eighties, where the big contest was who could sing the highest and who could play the fastest. Judas Priest's Rob Halford definitely won singing the highest, but I'm not sure who could really play the fastest, lol. The Metal music that I listen to is when it started out, the pure metallic sound of bands like Metallica, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Anthrax, some of Megadeth, and Dragonforce (although they're their own category all together, Speed Metal). I don't like death metal, or screamo, or stuff like that, cuz it just seems way too violent or something, I don't know, lol.
Alongside pure Metal is Hair Metal, which means metal bands who also wear flashy costumes and tons of makeup, but mainly known for either really long and crazy hair or crazy wigs. A few prominent examples are Kiss and Twisted Sister, although I don't really like Kiss because all of their songs sound almost exactly the same, so bleh. A couple more obscure Hair Metal bands include Queensryche and Dio, although they went more for the long hair rather than costumes. They also were more concerned about soaring vocals; my favorite singers are Rob Halford, Geoff Tate, and Ronnie James Dio (I'm still kinda upset that Dio is dead T.T)
Rock is very tasteful, but only when they rerain from hitting any of the items on my "list," lol. It looks like I lean more toward Alternative Rock, like Three Doors Down, Rise Against, and Shinedown. I love their harmonic vocals; that's really the epitome of Rock, is vocals. The messages of their songs are mainly geared towards relationships, or more accurately, towards being in love. There's one song that I used to absolutely love, Here Without You by Three Doors Down, but too many memories became attached to it, so I don't listen to it anymore, and I shut it out when it comes up on the radio or something. To be honest I've kinda started disliking the song entirely.
Now for the dissing; I'm completely biased against rap. I don't think there is any talent behind it at all, I mean there's no singing, it's just some dude talking with music in the background, and most of it is cussing, and most of THAT is racist or f-bombing. I hear Eminem talking about how much he's opposed to censorship in music, saying that it's against Free Speech ... I live by this: your right to swing your fist ends where my nose begins. Meaning yeah you have a freedom of speech, but when it starts to offend people and it attacks certain religions, races, creeds, or anything like that, then it becomes a problem. I don't think it should be completely done away with, no, but I think it should be censored when played by public things like football games or radio stations. I feel the same way about Metal and Rock, if they are really offensive or something like that then I think it should be censored, like they usually do. Some people say I'm a hypocrite when I talk about Linkin Park, because I like them. They are NOT rap, however, because they sing, harmonize, and play very well. I don't really consider them screamo either because they sing more than scream.
Country ... I've been raised in an anti-country-music home, so naturally I find it distasteful. I'm not saying I hate all of it, because I've heard a few good country songs ... then again the reason I thought they were good was because they sounded more rock than country, lol. The majority of all the country music I have heard talked about: sex, women, beer, porches, trucks, dogs, and fishing. And I find all of that very stupid to sing about. Another thing is their singing and guitar playing, ugh it sounds so awful, it's way to redneck sounding and twanging and I don't like that, especially severe redneck accents, blech.
Pop, techno, and other similar sounding music is mostly blah to me, I only like a select few of Michael Jackson's stuff, but the rest of it seems way too sexually explicit and that turns me off immediately. To me, it's mostly characterized nowadays by singers like Katy Perry, Beyonce, Lady Gaga, and other slutty singers.
Finally, you got Weird Al ... He's his own category all together, I mean he's clean, very talented, and hilarious, and above all he's just out there, he Performs his own Way.
Now that I've got that off my chest, I think that'll be it for the night, lol <3
I am a loyal listener of Rock and Metal, but I am also choosy of what I listen to. Before I download a song, I look up the lyrics and if they have any one or more of what's on my "list" then I don't dowload it at all:
-tons of cursing
-F bomb
-sexual references
-hidden meanings
-anti anything, but mainly military, God, or women
-tons of screaming
Stuff like that. I don't mind a word here and there, like D or H, but I don't like A and B, and F definitely means I don't like it. I also only like plain Metal, meaning stuff from the eighties, where the big contest was who could sing the highest and who could play the fastest. Judas Priest's Rob Halford definitely won singing the highest, but I'm not sure who could really play the fastest, lol. The Metal music that I listen to is when it started out, the pure metallic sound of bands like Metallica, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Anthrax, some of Megadeth, and Dragonforce (although they're their own category all together, Speed Metal). I don't like death metal, or screamo, or stuff like that, cuz it just seems way too violent or something, I don't know, lol.
Alongside pure Metal is Hair Metal, which means metal bands who also wear flashy costumes and tons of makeup, but mainly known for either really long and crazy hair or crazy wigs. A few prominent examples are Kiss and Twisted Sister, although I don't really like Kiss because all of their songs sound almost exactly the same, so bleh. A couple more obscure Hair Metal bands include Queensryche and Dio, although they went more for the long hair rather than costumes. They also were more concerned about soaring vocals; my favorite singers are Rob Halford, Geoff Tate, and Ronnie James Dio (I'm still kinda upset that Dio is dead T.T)
Rock is very tasteful, but only when they rerain from hitting any of the items on my "list," lol. It looks like I lean more toward Alternative Rock, like Three Doors Down, Rise Against, and Shinedown. I love their harmonic vocals; that's really the epitome of Rock, is vocals. The messages of their songs are mainly geared towards relationships, or more accurately, towards being in love. There's one song that I used to absolutely love, Here Without You by Three Doors Down, but too many memories became attached to it, so I don't listen to it anymore, and I shut it out when it comes up on the radio or something. To be honest I've kinda started disliking the song entirely.
Now for the dissing; I'm completely biased against rap. I don't think there is any talent behind it at all, I mean there's no singing, it's just some dude talking with music in the background, and most of it is cussing, and most of THAT is racist or f-bombing. I hear Eminem talking about how much he's opposed to censorship in music, saying that it's against Free Speech ... I live by this: your right to swing your fist ends where my nose begins. Meaning yeah you have a freedom of speech, but when it starts to offend people and it attacks certain religions, races, creeds, or anything like that, then it becomes a problem. I don't think it should be completely done away with, no, but I think it should be censored when played by public things like football games or radio stations. I feel the same way about Metal and Rock, if they are really offensive or something like that then I think it should be censored, like they usually do. Some people say I'm a hypocrite when I talk about Linkin Park, because I like them. They are NOT rap, however, because they sing, harmonize, and play very well. I don't really consider them screamo either because they sing more than scream.
Country ... I've been raised in an anti-country-music home, so naturally I find it distasteful. I'm not saying I hate all of it, because I've heard a few good country songs ... then again the reason I thought they were good was because they sounded more rock than country, lol. The majority of all the country music I have heard talked about: sex, women, beer, porches, trucks, dogs, and fishing. And I find all of that very stupid to sing about. Another thing is their singing and guitar playing, ugh it sounds so awful, it's way to redneck sounding and twanging and I don't like that, especially severe redneck accents, blech.
Pop, techno, and other similar sounding music is mostly blah to me, I only like a select few of Michael Jackson's stuff, but the rest of it seems way too sexually explicit and that turns me off immediately. To me, it's mostly characterized nowadays by singers like Katy Perry, Beyonce, Lady Gaga, and other slutty singers.
Finally, you got Weird Al ... He's his own category all together, I mean he's clean, very talented, and hilarious, and above all he's just out there, he Performs his own Way.
Now that I've got that off my chest, I think that'll be it for the night, lol <3
Nothing Else Matters
So my internet went out for a while, it was so stupid and we had no idea why it happened. Yesterday went pretty well, I learned a bit in church and ate a lot of desserts ^.^
I keep reading her blog, and rereading it, and rerereading, and more times, I just love her so much. She says that she isn't trying to make her blog into a "i love jotty" thing, and I believe her, I'm actually trying not to do that here as well, but like her, she's been on my mind a lot. She said she doesn't feel worthy to be with me, or something like that, which I don't buy. I think it's the other way around. I feel like she deserves a lot more from me, seeing as she's gone through a lot more than I have. I've seen every time her relationship is messed up, every time her friend made her upset, every time her heart was broken, I feel I should make up for what's been done to her. I don't necessarily feel compelled to do it, I want to. I want her to know how much I love her, but I just can't seem to quite spit it out, it never fully captures the meanings I want it to.
I looked up the song from her blog, and I really liked it, it really seemed to fit our situation. I've started listening to a lot more songs that make me think of her, and I always imagine myself singing to her, although I'm pretty sure I'd screw up, haha. I've even tried playing and singing All I Ask of You at the same time, in secret of course, cuz I have a really hard time playing when people are watching me. There are even lines from this song that remind me of her, and it's a Metallica song, lol
Trust I seek, and I find in you,
Every day for something new,
Open mind for a different view,
Never opened myself this way,
All these words I don't just say,
Just a few of the lines from the song, but they still help, lol
I remember people telling me when I was younger that metal bands like Metallica were evil and satanic and all this other stuff. Then one day I was in the car with my brother Jacob and he put in a Metallica CD. I thought, "wait a minute, I thought Metallica was bad, why is my brother listening to them?" Indeed, I was perplexed, I thought very highly of Jacob, and I still do. In fact I see him as one of my spiritual inspirations, because he has so much wisdom and knowledge of the gospel, and I can't help but be drawn in to all of his lessons. So I figured if he could listen to them, then maybe they weren't as bad as people told me. Sure enough, my best friend in the entire world (my brother Miles) started downloading a few Metallica songs, and I was immediately impressed by them. Later down the road, I learned that my favorite game series, Guitar Hero, was coming out with a game all about Metallica songs, so I got it as soon as it came out, and I fell in love with it (jk, lol). Along with Guitar Hero games, and a developing love for Metallica, I started asking Jacob what other bands he listened to, and I found Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Queensryche, Anthrax, Shinedown, and other bands, and they just blew my mind, hahaha.
For the last two nights, I've replayed over and over the last thing that we did at adventureland, when I took off her glasses and just looked into her eyes. Her mezmorizing, beautiful eyes. I remember it felt like I was staring at her for an eternity before we broke eye contact and she left. The feeling I had felt familiar to me, so I tried to think of where I felt it last. Was it with a girl? No. Was it hanging out with friends? Nah. Was it being with my family at the big reunion a couple years ago? Kinda, not quite there. What about with Miles? Almost. The temple? That was it, when I went into a specific room. I've told her about it, but I literally could not think about ANYTHING negative, it was just impossible. The only things on my mind were my parents telling me about their own experiences, telling Miles about how I felt, and wanting to take her in there to show her what I meant. I am convinced that she would feel the same thing that I did, so I really hope I can see her face when it does happen. It's the most unique feeling in the world, and I so want to feel it again.
I love my family, my mother, my father, my brothers, my sisters, and Miles. I love my church, I love my Heavenly Father, my ward family and friends, and the missionaries. I love my true friends, I love Her.
And Nothing Else Matters.
I keep reading her blog, and rereading it, and rerereading, and more times, I just love her so much. She says that she isn't trying to make her blog into a "i love jotty" thing, and I believe her, I'm actually trying not to do that here as well, but like her, she's been on my mind a lot. She said she doesn't feel worthy to be with me, or something like that, which I don't buy. I think it's the other way around. I feel like she deserves a lot more from me, seeing as she's gone through a lot more than I have. I've seen every time her relationship is messed up, every time her friend made her upset, every time her heart was broken, I feel I should make up for what's been done to her. I don't necessarily feel compelled to do it, I want to. I want her to know how much I love her, but I just can't seem to quite spit it out, it never fully captures the meanings I want it to.
I looked up the song from her blog, and I really liked it, it really seemed to fit our situation. I've started listening to a lot more songs that make me think of her, and I always imagine myself singing to her, although I'm pretty sure I'd screw up, haha. I've even tried playing and singing All I Ask of You at the same time, in secret of course, cuz I have a really hard time playing when people are watching me. There are even lines from this song that remind me of her, and it's a Metallica song, lol
Trust I seek, and I find in you,
Every day for something new,
Open mind for a different view,
Never opened myself this way,
All these words I don't just say,
Just a few of the lines from the song, but they still help, lol
I remember people telling me when I was younger that metal bands like Metallica were evil and satanic and all this other stuff. Then one day I was in the car with my brother Jacob and he put in a Metallica CD. I thought, "wait a minute, I thought Metallica was bad, why is my brother listening to them?" Indeed, I was perplexed, I thought very highly of Jacob, and I still do. In fact I see him as one of my spiritual inspirations, because he has so much wisdom and knowledge of the gospel, and I can't help but be drawn in to all of his lessons. So I figured if he could listen to them, then maybe they weren't as bad as people told me. Sure enough, my best friend in the entire world (my brother Miles) started downloading a few Metallica songs, and I was immediately impressed by them. Later down the road, I learned that my favorite game series, Guitar Hero, was coming out with a game all about Metallica songs, so I got it as soon as it came out, and I fell in love with it (jk, lol). Along with Guitar Hero games, and a developing love for Metallica, I started asking Jacob what other bands he listened to, and I found Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Queensryche, Anthrax, Shinedown, and other bands, and they just blew my mind, hahaha.
For the last two nights, I've replayed over and over the last thing that we did at adventureland, when I took off her glasses and just looked into her eyes. Her mezmorizing, beautiful eyes. I remember it felt like I was staring at her for an eternity before we broke eye contact and she left. The feeling I had felt familiar to me, so I tried to think of where I felt it last. Was it with a girl? No. Was it hanging out with friends? Nah. Was it being with my family at the big reunion a couple years ago? Kinda, not quite there. What about with Miles? Almost. The temple? That was it, when I went into a specific room. I've told her about it, but I literally could not think about ANYTHING negative, it was just impossible. The only things on my mind were my parents telling me about their own experiences, telling Miles about how I felt, and wanting to take her in there to show her what I meant. I am convinced that she would feel the same thing that I did, so I really hope I can see her face when it does happen. It's the most unique feeling in the world, and I so want to feel it again.
I love my family, my mother, my father, my brothers, my sisters, and Miles. I love my church, I love my Heavenly Father, my ward family and friends, and the missionaries. I love my true friends, I love Her.
And Nothing Else Matters.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
What is Love?
I think I remembered something else I wanted to talk about, well a few things actually.
For one, I don't like it when people are under the assumption that someone they know is an absolute angel and that they are perfect in every way, and when I try to tell them otherwise they just shut me out and say I don't know anything. Then they're completely shocked when they find out I was right, gee how do ya like that?
Secondly, I like watching young teens in relationships thinking they're in love, I mean come on you're only 13 and you just met the kid, how do you know? Yes, I believe in love at first sight, but I also believe it's extremely rare, and only a handful of people in the history of the entire world have experienced it. Those are the kinds of people that I like to lecture, cuz they don't know a thing about love. Heck, I was one of them once, so I can speak from experience.
But What IS Love? Sure we see all kinds of couples together, from an abusive, young, relationship to an old, sweet, loyal couple that still holds hands after fifty years of marriage, does just beng in a relationship mean that you know what love is? I say no; take the instance of the abusve young couple that we've all seen. She may even have a black eye whenever you see her, but whenever you do, he is always telling her everything to do, and will NOT take no for an answer, so if he wants something then she gives it to him because she doesn't want him mad at her, and maybe he will reward her with something late at night. The problem is that he thrives on control, and if he doesn't have that control then he uses physical means to get it. The only thing that he truly loves is her body, and he will use it however he wants. She, on the other hand, I don't believe has any idea what love is, because she's just afraid of getting hurt, it's almost like she's just in it so she can tell people that she has a boyfriend or a husband or whatever. I don't think I'll ever understand them, and hopefully someday they will both wake up and realize they were wrong about everything.
Then you go to the complete opposite end of the spectrum; the old, sweet, loyal couple that still holds hands after so long. They know they aren't perfect, they know they have way too many faults, but they work at improving themselves and each other. This is the kind of couple that you will see her or him getting the other whatever they want, but not out of fear, and actually without much asking. If she knows that he has an aching back, she happens to know how to massage, so she goes over and helps him deal with the pain. Instead of control, they thrive on each other's happiness. He could care less what she looked like on the outside, because that's not what he fell in love with; he fell in love with her personality: her humor, her insight, her intuition, her thriftiness, her common sense, everything about who she is. That's why you might see the two ugliest looking people you've ever seen be so in love with each other, because they look at the heart.
Love is a very complicated emotion, and as such is only understood after either many years or after so many broken hearts. I'm not going to say I know exactly what love is, but I think I have a good idea of it. I could write down everything I know about it, but that would take way too long, so here are a few highlights of true, pure love that I've gathered:
-complete loyalty and dedication, thriving off of each other's well-being rather than corrupt feelings
-understanding weaknesses, but not criticizing; instead, helping
-joy at their happiness and upsetting at their sadness
-longing to see the other
-more emotional contact than physical (rather than petting, constant cuddling, or french kissing all the time, you discuss, converse, admire, stare into eyes, or other bonding)
-smiling all the time, especially when you see who the text or call is from
-resolving rather than arguing
-holding hands at every opportunity
-writing back and forth, especially if the other is gone with military or something like that
-constant laughter
-wanting to brag about their significant other at nearly every opportunity, especially during engagement or whenever they do something great and spectacular
-wanting to meet and know all of their friends
-encouragement
-uplifting when they're down for any reason
I could go on, but I think you get the idea, there's no way to describe in words the feeling of love. I remember listening to an old radio show about how aliens destroy every human except for two people whom they study and demand answers about life from. They have also captured a few of every animal on the earth, but after a while they notice that no matter how much they feed and nourish them, they refuse to eat, and they begin dying one by one. When they question the humans, they give a simple answer; Love. Every creature needs love in order to survive, so when they demonstrate by holding and petting a cat, the cat purrs rather loudly and then starts eating the food. Love drives the world, whether it be love of God, love of country, love of friends and family, or love of any worldly thing, love makes the world survive.
God's love for us is so great that He sacrificed His only begotten son so that we can all go back to live with Him again. That, to me, is True, Pure Love, and I'm not sure if anyone on this earth can ever feel that level of love. I do, however, believe that anyone can experience the step below, True Love. You hear about it in stories and fairy tales, but do you ever see it or experience it? Only if you look for it. I once saw a somewhat young (like twenty-five or so) athletic man with his wife at an amusement park. It looked like she had been through better times. Her legs were thin and frail, her face was scarred, and she was using crutches. I'm thinking she was in some terrible accident. The point is I know they were still happily married and in love because they both wore rings that kinda matched, they held hands during all the rides, and at one point I saw her lean over to him and say that she was having a great time, after which he kissed her on the lips, smiled, and told her he loved her. THAT is True Love ... and I think I'm feeling it right now for a special someone :) <3
For one, I don't like it when people are under the assumption that someone they know is an absolute angel and that they are perfect in every way, and when I try to tell them otherwise they just shut me out and say I don't know anything. Then they're completely shocked when they find out I was right, gee how do ya like that?
Secondly, I like watching young teens in relationships thinking they're in love, I mean come on you're only 13 and you just met the kid, how do you know? Yes, I believe in love at first sight, but I also believe it's extremely rare, and only a handful of people in the history of the entire world have experienced it. Those are the kinds of people that I like to lecture, cuz they don't know a thing about love. Heck, I was one of them once, so I can speak from experience.
But What IS Love? Sure we see all kinds of couples together, from an abusive, young, relationship to an old, sweet, loyal couple that still holds hands after fifty years of marriage, does just beng in a relationship mean that you know what love is? I say no; take the instance of the abusve young couple that we've all seen. She may even have a black eye whenever you see her, but whenever you do, he is always telling her everything to do, and will NOT take no for an answer, so if he wants something then she gives it to him because she doesn't want him mad at her, and maybe he will reward her with something late at night. The problem is that he thrives on control, and if he doesn't have that control then he uses physical means to get it. The only thing that he truly loves is her body, and he will use it however he wants. She, on the other hand, I don't believe has any idea what love is, because she's just afraid of getting hurt, it's almost like she's just in it so she can tell people that she has a boyfriend or a husband or whatever. I don't think I'll ever understand them, and hopefully someday they will both wake up and realize they were wrong about everything.
Then you go to the complete opposite end of the spectrum; the old, sweet, loyal couple that still holds hands after so long. They know they aren't perfect, they know they have way too many faults, but they work at improving themselves and each other. This is the kind of couple that you will see her or him getting the other whatever they want, but not out of fear, and actually without much asking. If she knows that he has an aching back, she happens to know how to massage, so she goes over and helps him deal with the pain. Instead of control, they thrive on each other's happiness. He could care less what she looked like on the outside, because that's not what he fell in love with; he fell in love with her personality: her humor, her insight, her intuition, her thriftiness, her common sense, everything about who she is. That's why you might see the two ugliest looking people you've ever seen be so in love with each other, because they look at the heart.
Love is a very complicated emotion, and as such is only understood after either many years or after so many broken hearts. I'm not going to say I know exactly what love is, but I think I have a good idea of it. I could write down everything I know about it, but that would take way too long, so here are a few highlights of true, pure love that I've gathered:
-complete loyalty and dedication, thriving off of each other's well-being rather than corrupt feelings
-understanding weaknesses, but not criticizing; instead, helping
-joy at their happiness and upsetting at their sadness
-longing to see the other
-more emotional contact than physical (rather than petting, constant cuddling, or french kissing all the time, you discuss, converse, admire, stare into eyes, or other bonding)
-smiling all the time, especially when you see who the text or call is from
-resolving rather than arguing
-holding hands at every opportunity
-writing back and forth, especially if the other is gone with military or something like that
-constant laughter
-wanting to brag about their significant other at nearly every opportunity, especially during engagement or whenever they do something great and spectacular
-wanting to meet and know all of their friends
-encouragement
-uplifting when they're down for any reason
I could go on, but I think you get the idea, there's no way to describe in words the feeling of love. I remember listening to an old radio show about how aliens destroy every human except for two people whom they study and demand answers about life from. They have also captured a few of every animal on the earth, but after a while they notice that no matter how much they feed and nourish them, they refuse to eat, and they begin dying one by one. When they question the humans, they give a simple answer; Love. Every creature needs love in order to survive, so when they demonstrate by holding and petting a cat, the cat purrs rather loudly and then starts eating the food. Love drives the world, whether it be love of God, love of country, love of friends and family, or love of any worldly thing, love makes the world survive.
God's love for us is so great that He sacrificed His only begotten son so that we can all go back to live with Him again. That, to me, is True, Pure Love, and I'm not sure if anyone on this earth can ever feel that level of love. I do, however, believe that anyone can experience the step below, True Love. You hear about it in stories and fairy tales, but do you ever see it or experience it? Only if you look for it. I once saw a somewhat young (like twenty-five or so) athletic man with his wife at an amusement park. It looked like she had been through better times. Her legs were thin and frail, her face was scarred, and she was using crutches. I'm thinking she was in some terrible accident. The point is I know they were still happily married and in love because they both wore rings that kinda matched, they held hands during all the rides, and at one point I saw her lean over to him and say that she was having a great time, after which he kissed her on the lips, smiled, and told her he loved her. THAT is True Love ... and I think I'm feeling it right now for a special someone :) <3
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Silent Lucidity
It's funny how a lot of my favorite songs are soft rock songs or disney songs. I've told a few people that I've always wanted to do the solo "I Can Go the Distance" from Hercules.
Today started out weird, I had to go outside and push carts for an hour and a half at work, but when it came time for lunch I went home and changed, that made it a lot better, haha.
As soon as I got off work, it was off to meet her at Adventureland. I gave her a big hug, but it wasn't my best, I'm saving that one for when she sees me off at the airport ;) We found Josh, JJ, and the other YSAs from my ward there and hung with them for a while, playing Guitar Hero and riding the go-karts. Then Karalea, me, and her friend Kaitlyn went to play minigolf ... we all sucked, haha, but it's not like we were there to critique each other. She has really soft hands and I get a warm feeling when I hug her.
Even just talking on the phone is great, hearing something is a lot better than reading it, so I love hearing how her day went, what she thought of everything, etc. I kinda stand off to the side and smile in Silent Lucidity, enjoying the knowledge that she's happy and listening to everything that went on.
I had something else I wanted to write, but I forgot O.o s I guess this will be it for the night <3
Today started out weird, I had to go outside and push carts for an hour and a half at work, but when it came time for lunch I went home and changed, that made it a lot better, haha.
As soon as I got off work, it was off to meet her at Adventureland. I gave her a big hug, but it wasn't my best, I'm saving that one for when she sees me off at the airport ;) We found Josh, JJ, and the other YSAs from my ward there and hung with them for a while, playing Guitar Hero and riding the go-karts. Then Karalea, me, and her friend Kaitlyn went to play minigolf ... we all sucked, haha, but it's not like we were there to critique each other. She has really soft hands and I get a warm feeling when I hug her.
Even just talking on the phone is great, hearing something is a lot better than reading it, so I love hearing how her day went, what she thought of everything, etc. I kinda stand off to the side and smile in Silent Lucidity, enjoying the knowledge that she's happy and listening to everything that went on.
I had something else I wanted to write, but I forgot O.o s I guess this will be it for the night <3
Land of Confusion
America is an awesome place, because it's God's chosen land, and we have so many liberties and freedoms and so many other things that set us apart from the rest of the world so much that they all want to come here ... however it's also become a Land of Confusion because so many stupid people live here and breed ... and just so happen to hit every single one of my pet peeves:
Contradict themselves - they give me their argument on a subject and they give me the source of it so as to seem like they know what they're talking about, but I look through their source and find more evidence supporting MY side. So I tell them that, but they say that my source is faulty. BUT I WAS USING YOUR OWN SOURCE, YOU MORON
Awful table manners - the mere sound of someone chewing with their mouth open makes me cringe, so when they do it while they're talking to me or if they do it over my shoulder, then I get mad, especially when little flakes of food fly out of their mouth and onto my person (UGH!!)
Immaturity/laziness - if there's one thing I hate most in the world, it's immaturity. You're twenty-one, so why are you acting like a little kid in the store? You're fifty, so why are you throwing a temper tantrum at someone because you didn't get five cents off your purchase? I'm not your personal slave, so why do you think you can just wheel your little buggy to the register and make me do everything for you? You're perfectly capable of unloading and loading a buggy by yourself, dorkon
Drama - Ok, so I went out with you, but it didn't work out, and we're both cool about it, we want to still be friends. Then something happens and the boyfriend of your best friend dumps her because she wants sex and he doesn't, and he goes out with another girl that you know that you were perfect friends with. You decide to be immature and tell everyone that he is a pervert and that she is a slut. She, however, happens to be a friend that I've known for three times as long as you've known her, so naturally I know it's not true and I defend her. Why do you attack me and accuse me of crap that I didn't even do? Are you that dense? I didn't want a part in this crap, so why are you dragging me into it, ya doofus?
I have more, but I can't think of them right now, these are at the top, though. It just doesn't make sense that people can be so selfish and so dense, like guys that treat their girlfriends like crap, but the girl just takes it. Why are you in a relationship right now? Obviously he doesn't know how to treat someone, I mean come on, if you really love her, or even just like her, wouldn't you want her to feel that way? Wouldn't you want to hold her gently in your arms and tell her you love her? Wouldn't you want to pay for her food when you go out to eat? Wouldn't you want to hold her hand and tell her everything will be alright when something goes wrong in her life? Wouldn't you want her to feel beautiful? Wouldn't you want her to look you in the eyes and pull the hair out of her gorgeous face so you can see it? Wouldn't you want her to actually feel loved in return for all the love she feels for you?
... at least that's how I feel for the girl of my dreams ... I know what love is ... and what I just said is only a tiny part of it, but if you really love someone like I love Karalea, then you would feel this way about them as well.
Contradict themselves - they give me their argument on a subject and they give me the source of it so as to seem like they know what they're talking about, but I look through their source and find more evidence supporting MY side. So I tell them that, but they say that my source is faulty. BUT I WAS USING YOUR OWN SOURCE, YOU MORON
Awful table manners - the mere sound of someone chewing with their mouth open makes me cringe, so when they do it while they're talking to me or if they do it over my shoulder, then I get mad, especially when little flakes of food fly out of their mouth and onto my person (UGH!!)
Immaturity/laziness - if there's one thing I hate most in the world, it's immaturity. You're twenty-one, so why are you acting like a little kid in the store? You're fifty, so why are you throwing a temper tantrum at someone because you didn't get five cents off your purchase? I'm not your personal slave, so why do you think you can just wheel your little buggy to the register and make me do everything for you? You're perfectly capable of unloading and loading a buggy by yourself, dorkon
Drama - Ok, so I went out with you, but it didn't work out, and we're both cool about it, we want to still be friends. Then something happens and the boyfriend of your best friend dumps her because she wants sex and he doesn't, and he goes out with another girl that you know that you were perfect friends with. You decide to be immature and tell everyone that he is a pervert and that she is a slut. She, however, happens to be a friend that I've known for three times as long as you've known her, so naturally I know it's not true and I defend her. Why do you attack me and accuse me of crap that I didn't even do? Are you that dense? I didn't want a part in this crap, so why are you dragging me into it, ya doofus?
I have more, but I can't think of them right now, these are at the top, though. It just doesn't make sense that people can be so selfish and so dense, like guys that treat their girlfriends like crap, but the girl just takes it. Why are you in a relationship right now? Obviously he doesn't know how to treat someone, I mean come on, if you really love her, or even just like her, wouldn't you want her to feel that way? Wouldn't you want to hold her gently in your arms and tell her you love her? Wouldn't you want to pay for her food when you go out to eat? Wouldn't you want to hold her hand and tell her everything will be alright when something goes wrong in her life? Wouldn't you want her to feel beautiful? Wouldn't you want her to look you in the eyes and pull the hair out of her gorgeous face so you can see it? Wouldn't you want her to actually feel loved in return for all the love she feels for you?
... at least that's how I feel for the girl of my dreams ... I know what love is ... and what I just said is only a tiny part of it, but if you really love someone like I love Karalea, then you would feel this way about them as well.
Friday, August 26, 2011
No One Like You
I'm not sure I quite explained my blog title, then again I'm not sure I need to, lol. I'm always OCD about grammar and spelling, so I just randomly thought of this and decided to put it as the title.
Another thing I decided to do to make it cool is to make the title of my posts be the names of songs I know and like and then put it in the post, makes it more relatable, ya know?
I just spent the first half of the day hanging out playing video games with Dan, and then the second half with Eric watching MST3K's, and we can't stop laughing. MST3K is where a guy and his two robot friends watch really old, really bad movies and riff them so that they're hilarious to watch.
Even though I told her I wasn't going to talk much today, I checked up on her all throughout the day, checking facebook for messages and checking her blog.
Then I was touched.
She somehow finds a way to put down in words what's in my mind as well as hers. It's eerie in a way, but also amazing that we seem to be thinking the same thing about each other. There's No One Like Her, I couldn't find another girl like her even if I tried. We've talked about it before, and I feel the same way, that I wouldn't have preferred this any other way. We've helped each other through a lot and I don't think our relationship would be the same any other way. All in all, I'd say I've had an excellent day, and I can't wait to hold her in my arms tomorrow and spend a few hours with her, she's amazing and I love her for who she is.
Trapped Under Ice
Why have I even created this blog?
I'm about to leave in a month to serve a mission for my church for two years, what am I doing?
Is it because I have always loved writing, but only when it's what I want to talk about?
Is it because I prefer typing over writing in my journal because my handwriting is awful and I'm just lazy like that?
or is it because of her?... I've never felt this way about anyone before, yet it seems like just because she made a blog that I have to, I mean I get to read what's on her mind, but she doesn't get that chance. Am I even going to tell her about it? I don't know, what I do know is that for once I'm not just going through the motions. I was stupid and immature when I went with number one, and two and three weren't my religion, so I didn't trust them as much. I may have said I loved them, and said romantic things to them, but I had to really think about what I wanted to say, and I just thought it was cute, but with her ... things just pop in my head, all of a sudden she's laughing at everything I say and I laugh at it myself, why? Because I've never thought of it until the moment I say it to her. I've always told myself for five years that I wished I could go on a date with her just once, and throughout those five years I've always gone to her when I really needed comfort, like when Miles wasn't there or something. It turns out she felt the same way, but we kept it hidden from each other until a few weeks ago. but in a few weeks my feelings have grown so immense, that I can't stop thinking about her.
If she is upset, I feel helpless because I'm not there to console her and hug her.
If she is happy, I feel excited and full of life because the girl of my dreams is smiling, and that's enough for me.
But what about the other relationships, Jotty? You've put everything into them, and they betrayed you, why should this be any different? What? Look up to what you just wrote? ... Just going through the motions, is that the part? Yeah, all your life you and Miles were the same, just wanted somebody to love them, so what, were you desperate? Really? Just going through the motions, what does that even mean for you? Express concern when they're upset, joy when they're happy, stuff like that? Ok, but aren't you doing that now with her? You automatically feel that way about her? That must be it, that must be why you're going out with her just a couple months before you leave, you're in love, just utterly and completely in love.
Yes, that must be it, it's hard to believe, but I've always felt this way about her, even when I wasn't going out with her, I've loved her as a friend, and as a little sister-figure, but now I truly love her, more than anything in the world.
And yet I can't say a thing.
Not because it's a bad thing to love her, but because I can't find the words. Yeah I may have said things before, but they don't come anywhere near how I truly feel. She actually cares for me and supports me. She is beautiful beyond measure. She's really smart. She loves kids. She's clever and hilarious. She's everything I've ever wanted.
Karalea Chapman.
So here I am, Trapped Under Ice; it's such a thin layer, but it still holds back what I want to say.
Man, Jotty, you can say a lot when you're typing, and you hardly mess up, too, is that why you're doing this blog? so that you don't have to write down in your journal as much?
No, it's her, I've fallen for her ... completely. I love her with all my heart.
Maybe one day I'll tell her about this blog. Then again this may just be my online journal. I hope not. I hope for once that this relationship will go somewhere, somewhere beyond "boyfriend and girlfriend," I hope that she waits for me like she alludes to in her own blog, because now I can't imagine life without her.
No, this won't be the only topic in this blog, but I feel so strongly about her that it had to be my first post.
I love her.
I'm about to leave in a month to serve a mission for my church for two years, what am I doing?
Is it because I have always loved writing, but only when it's what I want to talk about?
Is it because I prefer typing over writing in my journal because my handwriting is awful and I'm just lazy like that?
or is it because of her?... I've never felt this way about anyone before, yet it seems like just because she made a blog that I have to, I mean I get to read what's on her mind, but she doesn't get that chance. Am I even going to tell her about it? I don't know, what I do know is that for once I'm not just going through the motions. I was stupid and immature when I went with number one, and two and three weren't my religion, so I didn't trust them as much. I may have said I loved them, and said romantic things to them, but I had to really think about what I wanted to say, and I just thought it was cute, but with her ... things just pop in my head, all of a sudden she's laughing at everything I say and I laugh at it myself, why? Because I've never thought of it until the moment I say it to her. I've always told myself for five years that I wished I could go on a date with her just once, and throughout those five years I've always gone to her when I really needed comfort, like when Miles wasn't there or something. It turns out she felt the same way, but we kept it hidden from each other until a few weeks ago. but in a few weeks my feelings have grown so immense, that I can't stop thinking about her.
If she is upset, I feel helpless because I'm not there to console her and hug her.
If she is happy, I feel excited and full of life because the girl of my dreams is smiling, and that's enough for me.
But what about the other relationships, Jotty? You've put everything into them, and they betrayed you, why should this be any different? What? Look up to what you just wrote? ... Just going through the motions, is that the part? Yeah, all your life you and Miles were the same, just wanted somebody to love them, so what, were you desperate? Really? Just going through the motions, what does that even mean for you? Express concern when they're upset, joy when they're happy, stuff like that? Ok, but aren't you doing that now with her? You automatically feel that way about her? That must be it, that must be why you're going out with her just a couple months before you leave, you're in love, just utterly and completely in love.
Yes, that must be it, it's hard to believe, but I've always felt this way about her, even when I wasn't going out with her, I've loved her as a friend, and as a little sister-figure, but now I truly love her, more than anything in the world.
And yet I can't say a thing.
Not because it's a bad thing to love her, but because I can't find the words. Yeah I may have said things before, but they don't come anywhere near how I truly feel. She actually cares for me and supports me. She is beautiful beyond measure. She's really smart. She loves kids. She's clever and hilarious. She's everything I've ever wanted.
Karalea Chapman.
So here I am, Trapped Under Ice; it's such a thin layer, but it still holds back what I want to say.
Man, Jotty, you can say a lot when you're typing, and you hardly mess up, too, is that why you're doing this blog? so that you don't have to write down in your journal as much?
No, it's her, I've fallen for her ... completely. I love her with all my heart.
Maybe one day I'll tell her about this blog. Then again this may just be my online journal. I hope not. I hope for once that this relationship will go somewhere, somewhere beyond "boyfriend and girlfriend," I hope that she waits for me like she alludes to in her own blog, because now I can't imagine life without her.
No, this won't be the only topic in this blog, but I feel so strongly about her that it had to be my first post.
I love her.
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