Feliz Navidad

I'm doing this way ahead of time to both surprise you and just because, lol ^.^

I hope this works >.<

By now it's christmas time, and you've probably recieved and opened my present to you, I just wanted to let you know now that I'm still thinking of you, and I have your pictures very well preserved in my scriptures.

Of course I'm speaking as if everything works out the way I hope it will.

I just want to let you know that I'm still thinking of you, and that I love you with all my heart, I miss you, but I can wait to see you again, I'm most likely having the time of my life, but I'm still keeping my promise to you, as I know you are too.

Merry Christmas, and have a Happy New Year, sweetheart :)

I love you, Feliz Navidad, mi amor <3

Bye Bye Beautiful

This is gonna be my last post ...

My parents have raised 6 boys, all who have gotten their Eagle Scout rank and have gone on missions ... I'm the last of not only the boys but the whole family as well. I feel responsible for a lot of family values and expectations that people have for me ... But, surprisingly, I'm not afraid.

Mom says that she's not sad whenever her boys graduate or get married or go on missions and stuff like that, but I'm pretty sure that, deep down, she feels a lot of emotion about this, seeing as how I've been there for her pretty much every night for the last two years, and she has never been completely alone for longer than a day or two ... so I'm sure that by the time I get to Mexico, she will be EXTREMELY happy to welcome Miles back.

Dad hasn't put much input about it, but I know he feels the same way. He has always been there for me, always perfectly willing to do stuff with me and give me blessings and other things. He has never been too hard on me with expectations, I don't think, but I know what he expects, and I have always feared losing his trust. I think the scariest moment in my life was the day I lost my sight, I had no idea what was happening, but it happened all at once while I was trying to copy notes for first grade. Suddenly, everything just started getting blurrier, and I could only see my hands. I thought it was a nightmare, but it was all too real, and I was freaking out ... Thirteen years later, I still remember that day, and I remember how scared I was, and I always think of it as the worst day of my life and the scariest moment ... but I'm pretty sure that that would all change if I were to hear the words, "I'm so disappointed in you ... I thought I could trust you ..." come out of my father's mouth.

My family has always been there for me, even when I was immature and annoying and spoiled, which I would like to apologize for. I have a feeling that at one point, I may have been the least liked member of the family to everyone, because of how I was always yelled at and how my brothers really didn't like talking to me, and I'm sure it was annoying to have my Mom pull them aside and scold them for not "taking care of their little brother," I'm sure I was a nuisance ... I sure hope I've changed, I certainly feel like I have. I know my brothers love me because if I answer the phone they talk to me a while before asking for Mom, and they think of me when an event comes up, like a football game or something like that. I know my sisters love me because they've finally started saying so and treating me like the rest of my brothers ... meaning they abuse me, but still, I feel accepted now, lol.

I've probably been the biggest nuisance to Miles, seeing as I always tried to copy him and do everything he was doing, and wanting everything my way, and doing everything with him, and whining if I didn't get to be with him, but even though we always argued, I always looked up to him. If I copied him, it was because I admired him and wanted to be like him because he was and is so awesome to me. I'm so glad Miles and I have a mutual relationship now, I don't know where I'd be without his influence and example. I love Miles and everything he does, and I can't wait to see him again. I've been told that it's possible I will see him at the airport right before I leave for Mexico, so I've got my hopes up now, even though I know it can't happen *sigh* I'll just have to deal with it and keep writing him until I see him again.

Last but not least, Karalea ... Mom has read all my feelings towards you, but she hasn't lectured me about it or warned me or anything, so I know she feels different about you than she did the other girls. She really wants to get to know you, I promise. You have helped bring me up when I was down for five years, and I thoroughly appreciate that. I love you so much, and I'm so glad we had last night together. Like you, I *almost* keep saying I can't wait to see you after my mission, but I know you will keep your promise, mainly because I didn't make you make it, you did that all on your own, and to see your willingness in doing that ... it brings a tear to my eye each time. I love you, and I promise to keep my promise to you, as I know you will for me. If you ever think of me, I would actually like it if you would check through this blog, and through my mission blog that Mom will keep for me, because everything in them will be in my mind throughout my mission.

I love you, so much.

Bye Bye, Beautiful <3

Don't Wanna Miss a Thing

Tonight was amazing.

Yes I lost my wallet, and I lost fifty bucks from it, but I don't care, you were there to help me not go way off the deep end. You were there for me and you tried to help me calm down. Thank you so much, I don't know what I'd have done without you.

You really brightened my day, you know that?

When you stepped out of your car, I remembered that this was our last date, so I wanted to make the best of it, I wanted to do whatever came up in my head, so I hugged you and held your hand whenever I got the chance. I felt really good by the time we had to go, so I kissed you on the cheek.

... but I didn't expect one back ^.^ even though it was just a small smooch, I felt, gosh, amazing, like my cheek lit on fire. Yeah, I may have gotten a kiss on the cheek before, but I don't remember that feeling coming with it. I almost fell back cuz it was so sudden, but I kept my cool somehow, haha.

The whole time we were there was so Sweet and full of Emotion. I love you so much, and I always will. Thank you for one of the best nights of my life.

Remember me saying how amazing the Weird Al concert was? This beat it out a million times over, you are so amazing and beautiful <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Broken

My mind is Broken at the moment, I have tons of thoughts running through my head.

I love Karalea
I want mom and Karalea to talk an get to know each other, because I want to be with Karalea forever.
I love Karalea
I can't wait to go to my first and maybe only concert tomorrow
I love Karalea
I hope that I can make Saturday one of the best days ever
I love Karalea
I wish that there was something I could do to make everything right for you
I love Karalea

I love you, I love you I love you I love you, I love you so darn much, I love you more than anything.
I don't ever feel good in the mornings, I think that's why I constantly fall asleep on you.
I feel like a problem when I hear stuff like today when your dad talked to you about the date this saturday, I felt like a burden, and I wished I could have been there to maybe say something.
I wish I had the answers to everything, so that I could tell you what to say to get your mother to finally hug you, and tell you she loved you, and tell you how beautiful you are.

I wish I coud tell you everything, every emotion that I feel toward you... even though I can sum it all up in just three words: I love you. It's such a powerful phrase to me, and yet it never truly communicates how I really feel toward you. I love you so much, I love you more than anything in the world. Saturday is coming quickly, and I can't wait to hold you in my arms and whisper softly in your ear how beautiful you are, and how much I love you. If I could, I would never let you go, but then I wouldn't be able to mature on my mission. I promise that when I return from my mission that I will return to you, and I will never let you go again.

Sorry this blog is blah, I really am happy right now, I've never felt better, I just wish I could be the amazing man that you say I am, but I'm trying every day to reach that status, so I think I'll reach it by the time I return.

You are everything I've dreamed of, and everything I've ever wanted in a girl. You mean everything to me, you are my life, and I love you dearly <3

All I Ask of You

No more talk of darkness,
Forget those wide-eyed fears,
You're safe, no one can harm you,
My words will warm and calm you.

Let me be your freedom,
Let daylight dry your tears,
I'm here, with you, beside you,
To guard you and to guide you.

Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime,
Say the word and I shall follow you,
Say you'll share with me each night, each morning,
Anywhere you go, let me go too,
Love me, that's All I Ask of You.

This song has been playing through my head for the last month or so, as well as the one you posted. I can't stress enough how much I love you and want to be with you after my mission. Words can't possibly describe how much I will miss being with you when I'm gone. I miss you like crazy right now, and Iso can't wait to be with you. All I want right now is to make you happy and keep you that way. I wish I could be with you right now and tell you myself that everything will be alright, that I love you more than anything in the world, that I want to hold you in my arms and never let go. Even when I am focused on my mission, there will be no possible way for you to leave my mind, because I'm always thinking of you; thinking of ways to get you to smile and laugh, thinking of things I want to tell you, thinking of things I want to do on our future dates, thinking of how you are doing and how I can help when you're upset, how I can be the best I can be just for you, and thinking of how lucky I am to have fallen so much in love with a beautiful angel like yourself.
Liizard
There's nothing wrong with saying pudding, pudding is pudding, it's not another word, it's pudding, pudding is a fun word, pudding is a food, it's pudding!
I love you, Karalea, there's not a doubt in my mind that you're the girl of my dreams.
I love you <3

Karalea Chapman

Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman Karalea Chapman

Guess what? I love you! <3

Operation Mindcrime

I'm going to attempt putting everything that's on my mind onto this blog post, in other words, Operation Mindcrime ... or at least I hope it's not a crime, it's just a cool song title, hahaha.

Karalea Chapman
Karalea Chapman
Karalea Chapman
Karalea Chapman
Karalea Chapman
Karalea Chapman
Karalea Chapman
Karalea Chapman
Karalea Chapman
Karalea Chapman
Karalea Chapman
Karalea ... oh wait, hahaha, that's right, there's other stuff there too, just gotta really think about it, but Karalea Chapman seems to be right up there. Let's see ...
I love Karalea Chapman
I can't wait to see her this Saturday with Amry
I hope we can find some fun stuff to do if we have extra time
Maybe we can go to the mall again and walk around, that was fun last time
Gosh I love her
I just finished watching two MST3Ks: Soultaker and Merlin's Mystical Shop of Wonders
I remember liking some girl in kindergarten, but she hated my guts for absolutely no reason in the second grade, I have no idea what I did because we were friends the year before. I guess she hated me so much that she told the rest of the grade, because I was an outcast/bullied until eighth grade, I even got in a fight in fifth grade ... well it wasn't really a fight, no fists were thrown or anything, we just insulted each other and I got so mad I ran at him and knocked him over. It's kinda funny cuz then I got scared for some reason and ran off. I guess he spread rumors that I was gay or something cuz a bunch of girls started grouping around me and insulting me about it one day. Funny things to result from all that are that one: that guy and i are ok now, we don't hate each other or even dislike each other now, so that's good. Funniest thing ever though? Most of those girls are now lesbians, so I have no idea what happened there. We all made up a few years later, so everything's alright now, but people still didn't talk to me for a while, even friends from the stake (but I think that's because Miles and I are really religious guys, more than the rest of the stake are interested, lol) I guess that's why I was surprised and overcome by dorky guyness when I was told that someone liked me ... I already went into how Karalea and I slowly became closer and closer as friends throughout the next few years, so I'll try and cover school.
You just stole what I did at the beginning of this, rats, LOL
Eighth grade is when people finally started noticing that I existed, I found more and more friends and started climbing up the social chain (as well as lose acne, LOL)
Ninth grade I came out of my shell a little, I had to do a few presentations so I used my inherited humor from my mom to create funny sketches for the class to laugh at and enjoy ... although I never got the credit for some reason, I guess that's the sacrifice of being a director, lol
Tenth grade is when I really started to boom. I had tons of projects that I had to make funny, cool, attractive, etc. So I did, and they were phenomenal and everyone loved them. I started making tons of friends.
Junior year, I was aspiring to be the commander of the rifle team, so I was chatting everywhere, making sure I was noticed by the new coach, and still making friends.
Senior year, I was accually popular and apparently a clever and hilarious guy, everyone looked forward to hearing my essays in english, presentations in other classes, and just talking with me period, for some reason. although in all those years, I never appeared in the yearbook or anything, even when I took one of the leading roles in a musical that a lot of other students were in. It's whatever.
I hope I don't go back to walmart, I don't like that place.
I'm craving peanut butter
I just ran ot of soda
Mom is playing Angry Birds and is laughing her head off.
I know someone who's brother helped create Angry Birds
I love reading your blog, I love knowing and reaffirming my faith in you that you will wait, I know you will, I believe you. I love he new title for it as well ^.^
I hope you seriously don't believe that I will "find some Mexican girl." They're not even my type, I've met a lot of them. I've never met anyone like you, so how could I pass up the opportunity to be with the most amazing and beautiful girl in the world for the rest of eternity? I would be a fool to fall for anyone else if you waited all that time for me. I love you so much.

I'm running out of ideas, but I am so glad that we got together, I love you more than anything and I so can't wait to see you this saturday.
I love you <3

Sanctuary

It's funny how phrases and other sayings and even other songs can remind me of songs that I already know and love, one of which is Simple and Clean by Utada Hikaru:

When you walk away,
You don't hear me say,
"Please, oh baby, don't go,"
Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight,
It's hard to let go.

That song literally popped into my head as you drove off last saturday. I felt like holding you there for a much longer time, I didn't want to let you go, and I still don't. I never want you to leave my life.

You've brought so much joy to me lately, I can't get you out of my head. When I've learned that you're upset, then I get upset and desperate to help you become happy again. When I've helped you out, I feel so good about it, and I feel so glad that you're smiling again. When I'm upset, you can say the simplest things and make me smile and forget about everything else.

I love reading your blog, I know I've said it a lot, but I feel the honest sincerity of how you feel toward me when I read it. I feel like you really do love me, and I believe you. Everything I tell you is no lie, I love you with all my heart, with every part of my soul, with every fiber of my being.

I know it's short, but I felt like just giving you a reminder of how much I love you, because I really do and I hope you realize that

You've become my Sanctuary from the rest of the world <3

We Are Family

Yes, I was blogging about the same thing :P

My mother is probably the hardest worker in the entire family. To me it seems she never forgets anything, knows everything, and is nearly perfect. She was a convert into the church with my father and seven of my brothers and sisters. She has a short temper, but matches that temper with unconditional love toward each of her children. She has got to be the best seamstresses in the entire state at least, because she can make any costume completely from scratch and make it look fantastic and picture perfect. She has been in the acting business all her life, so she can act and direct plays, she has even written a bunch of original "roadshows" that are extremely clever and original. She is a very big spiritual inspiration to me.

My father had a very interesting childhood, and frequently uses stories from his past to illustrate gospel principles. He is the only member of our family who comes from the line of Manasseh, instead of Ephraim. He LOVES the Mystery Science Theater 3000 show, and will watch it at any chance. He also has a short temper, so I guess it runs in our whole family, lol, however he is very quick to forgive, as well as apologize. He is an amazing cook when you give him a grill. I don't know what he does, but he's gotta teach me soon, lol. He is still into video games, so every now and then you will catch him playing Age of Empires or Left 4 Dead on the computer.

Anna is the oldest in the family and of the Meservys, with six kids: Karina, Wayne, Gabriel, Nathaniel, Talia, and Kaiya. She always sticks up for me, which I thought wasn't supposed to work in other families, but it just makes her that much more special to me. Her husband, Toby, is a hardworking and very supportive man, and a great father. I hear Anna call Toby "babe" sometimes, and it's very cute to me, lol.

Jason is next in line, and the oldest of the Parkers. He is so fascinated with Japanese culture that he still watches anime and has begun Ninjutsu training in Japan. He still practices martial arts nd is very flexible for his age. He and his wife, Michelle, only have one daughter, Mila. Jason and Michelle are very understanding people and work hard to do what's right as parents. Jason and Michelle are a very cute couple when Mila is calm, they still hold hands as far as I know.

JaNae has a condition which I won't really say much about, but basically she is bipolar. However she's not that bad when I'm around, which I enjoy. She cares for her family very much and supports Mom whenever she can. She and her husband Jeremy have three kids: Amry, Brice, and Cian. Jeremy is the most amazing musician in the state of Alabama. He can listen to any song and harmonize instantly. He can play any music you set in front of him, and then transform it into any style you want. He can play pretty much any instrument you want him to. I'm pretty sure if he lost his hands or if they became unusable for any reason, it will absolutely kill him, he loves music, it's literally a part of him. If Jeremy is sitting down and left alone, JaNae will sneak over and sneak kisses with him. I really like seeing that :)

Jacob is still a kid in many ways. He still listens to his rock and metal music, plays video games whenever he can, and hangs out with Miles and I a lot. He has four kids with his wife, Amanda: Bailey, Daniel, Mary Ann, and Liam. Jacob is a spiritual giant, full of gospel principles and teachings. He can whip out quotes from general authorities at the drop of a hat. He and Jeremy are the most uptight Auburn fans you will meet in Enterprise. What I love about Jacob is that he still constantly calls Amanda by pet names like "hun" or "babe," like he's still keeping the friendship aspect in their relationship.

Royal is very solemn, but very funny. He was the big nerd in school, but that didn't stop him from being such an amazing member of the family. He is the best artist I know of, able to transform any picture into a masterpiece. He can come up with hilarious remarks seemingly out of nowhere. He's another spiritual giant, constantly looking at situatons from the perspective of the gospel. He and his wife Elizabeth have four children: Grace, Sienna, James (Little Jimmy), and Mae. He and Elizabeth are a pretty darling couple, they still act like when they first got married, sometimes, haha.

Ian ... I don't know much about Ian anymore, but he is a very understanding and sympathetic sibling. He is still into video games, and kinda play bullies the rest of the family, haha. He and his Wife Jessica don't have any kids, but they have a TON of animals, so I guess that makes up for it, lol. The two of them can be a pretty cute couple when they're right next to each other.

Kira is the last of the Meservys, and has had three children with her husband, Ben: Carlise, Wesley, and Josie. Ben is a Star Wars geek, and a technology freak, and pretty good at the grill. Kira and Ben care very much about each other's well-being, and Ben will still call her "babe" at times.

Miles and I are the only ones born into the church. I have known Miles since I was born, and we've never parted for longer than a week. I may have been annoying when we started out, but I always admired him and tried to take after him in many ways. These last two years have been pretty hard on me since I have barely been able to talk to him, but somehow I've managed. He is my inspiration on just about everything. I constantly look to him for advice, and he looks back to me for some as well. I don't think I'd be where I am without him. He is a very firm and tough-looking guy, but inside he is the most compassionate and sensitive person, and he likes hugs, so he's like a big teddy bear. He has a short fuse, but when he realizes his errors, he is very quick to correct them, and actually goes further than just correcting himself and apologizing. Miles is my hero, after I got out of the annoying phase of my life, he stuck up for me ALL the time. He never hesitated to confront those who wronged me, BUT he never used force or brute strength. Any of those times he could easily have ripped them apart, because he gained a ton of arm strength from tossing ten pound rifles like they were nothing, and also because he took greco-roman style wrestling for a few years, so he is a very buff guy. But he almost never intimidated them like that, he always either solved the problem, or told them to back off or they would have to deal with him. He is one of the funniest guys I know of, and the two of us have so many inside jokes it's ridiculous. He and I are so close that if you were to get him and me in one group, we would dominate the conversation and make everyone laugh their heads off, going off each other on different topics, no matter what it was. I can't wait to see that big palooka again. He's going to be the first person I hug when I step off that plane and I doubt I'll have dry eyes. I just wish I can someday be as amazing as him :') He has an amazing girlfriend named Diane, who I'm pretty sure will say yes if he proposes. They are THE cutest couple I have ever seen, they are so sincere with each other.

That's about all I can think of, I'd talk about myself, but my family defines me better, We Are one big happy Family, and I couldn't ask for anything more <3

'Till There Was You

I told you I wasn't going to write, but I felt like I just had to.
I'm so glad I got to talk to you today, to help you get your mind off of things.
I love reading your blog every time, it sends chills down my spine and I just feel the love you feel toward me.
We never have argued, yes, that's true, there's also something else; there's nothing about you I want to change, really. By that I mean I love everything about you, and that includes your "imperfections," which to be honest I don't think you have any, I think you're perfect in every way.
You're amazing.
You're beautiful.
I love you.
I want to be with you forever.
I never want you to leave.
My life was but a mere whisper Till There Was You.
There was no purpose on life Till There Was You.
I didn't know what true love was Until You came along.
I loved looking into your eyes, and I want to do it again.
I love holding your hand and holding you close in my arms.
I love you.
I love everything about you.
I love you for you.
You are everything I've dreamed of in one amazing beautiful girl.
I believe you when you say you want to be with me and that you'll wait for me.
I don't think there's really anything else I can say to get my point across.
I love you.
Simple as that.
I love you with all my heart, which I've entrusted entirely to you, my love <3

In a Little While

I really appreciate everything you do for me.
I love how easily you can make me smile.
Everything that I worry about ... it seems like you already have everything figured out, and you know what to say to mak me smile again.
I love you.
I love everything about you.
I wish there was some way to tell you now how much I feel for you.
This morning, when you went back to sleep, I had the desire to give you something before I leave, something to really help you think of me. I want to be there to dry your tears. I want to be there to help you through the hard times. I remembered that I have handkerchiefs that I still haven't touched yet, so I took one, spent fifteen minutes ironing it, and thirty minutes sewing our JP + KC inside of a heart. I'm hoping it works.
I was in a little bit of a depression tonight, something that Satan hoped would get me really depressed and out of it. I'm so glad I told you about it, you made me so happy with your response.
I love you so much.
Almost everything you say makes me happier with each passing moment.
I love reading your blog. It's like reading your mind, and I believe every word of it.
I love you.
I can't wait to see you again. To be honest, mom and I were scared that I would be tempted to passionately kiss you and other stuff, but I love you so much that I have no desire to do so. Instead, all I want to do is hold you in my arms forever, never letting go.
I never want you to leave my life.
I can't wait to see you again, and I know that two years will only be a Little While for me, so I pray that you will hold up and that you will wait for me, so that I truly can hold you close in my arms forever.
I love you.
More than anything in the world.
I love you, Karalea Chapman <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Eyes of the Beholder

They say beauty is in the Eyes of the Beholder ... I'm not sure I agree with that ...

Everything I know about you, I love. And everything I learn about you makes me love you even more.

But I never didn't like you.

Do I know that I love you?

Yes it is a silly question, but my answer is not yes. It's more of "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways."

You were my first crush. I've told you that before. There is also something different about our relationship. I noticed that every single one that started was only because I found out they like me. I thought they were cute so I said ok. You have always been in my heart, and always will be. You are the first one who I told you I liked you first. I have always loved you as a friend and as a kind of younger sister type person. When I told you that night that I liked you, and you responded that you liked me, I never thought that we would become this close. You are always on my mind. I have forty pictures of you that I scroll through each night. I watch two videos of you over and over whenever I can. Even when I've become a zombie at work, your face is always present in my mind, which has never happened before.

Nothing in this has ever happened before. You don't play me. You don't lie to me. You aren't embarassed around me. When I hold your hand or hold you close in my arms, I feel our souls connect. When you surprised me with a hug on the escalator, laying your head on my shoulder, not fighting when I took off your glasses, and even holding my hand differently, I just felt impressed at how much emotion you show toward me. I doubt that anyone can act like they love someone like that. I see an honest feeling of love, deep as the sea bed from the top of a mountain is, emanating from your eyes. I see honest, true love shining brighter than a thousand suns from your smile.

Beauty is in the Eyes of the Beholder?

No, it's always been there. You've always been there. You've always been beautiful, loving, caring, funny, beautiful, adorable, compassionate, and friendly towards me. It's not just me that sees your beauty. My mother has noticed a difference. My friends in the ward have seen a difference in how I approach things. They know that something is different.

It's you.

Do I know that I love you? Absolutely yes. I have never felt this way about anyone before. I firmly believe and pray that this relationship will continue after my return, and that it will go further. I thank Heavenly Father for bringing the two of us together; two young adults very strong in the gospel, with unshakeable testimonies, madly in love with each other.

I love you. I'm not kidding. I'm not playing your heart. I'm not just in it for a dumb fuzzy feeling you get from holding hands with any other person. I feel more than that when I hold your hand anyway. But no, I'm in love with you because of who you are and how much you believe in this church.

I believe everything you tell me, whether it be how much you love me, how much you can't wait to see me, the feelings you get from being with me, and especially when you say you will wait. I can't imagine being with anyone else. I don't know how I know, but I just know that you're the one. It can't be anyone else. It just can't. It has to be you, otherwise there's nowhere else to look. There's no one else. There's no one like you in all the world, and I love you and everything about you. There is nothing in this entire world that can shake this feeling. There is only one way to describe my feelings toward you. Absolutely nothing in the world that can change the way I feel about you.

I love you more than anything in the world, and I always will.

Forever yours, always and forever <3 <3 <3

Look Closely Into Her Eyes

Tonight was amazing. Just being with you proved to be the greatest time of my life. I love holding your hand. I always feel warmth when I hold your hand like that. And when I hugged you ... I felt like I was holding the greatest treasure that ever came into existance. As we watched Lion King, and it came to the scene with Simba and Nala, I accually kinda wanted to like put my arm around you or something like that to make it seem a little romantic, haha, but you surprised me by laying your head on my shoulder ... There's a lot of things you have done in one night that no one else has ever done with me, like lay their heads on my shoulder, hug for so long, you accually held my hand different and I was impressed, I guess, not sure how else to put it. I certainly felt the love tonight.

But when I Closely Looked into your Eyes ...

I felt love like nothing else I've ever experienced. I felt at peace and calm. I felt like nothing else in the world mattered at all. I felt like you were being completely honest with me with everything you've ever said before. I love you. Although I may sound like I don't believe you when you say you will wait for me, I do. You are the first beautiful maiden I have gone with who I have a strong, firm belief that you will be waiting patiently for my return. I know I hurt you when I spoke about breaking up, but this is not permanent. I may say that I'm breaking up, but I will always love you, and I will never leave you. No matter what happens, I will always be there. Remember what I said about the moon. It's always there, no matter how hard it is to see it. So while I'm gone, every night before you go to bed, look up at that moon for me, and know that in another country, I'm looking at it too, and thinking of its beauty, and how your beauty dwarfs it completely.

I love you so much, and I'm so glad to have made you this happy, Amry approves wholeheartedly as well: "I like her, way more than your other girlfriends." I love you so much, I will see you again soon :))) <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Two Weeks

So this girl came into my line, and she was fussing with her shirt. It was the kind of shirt that revealed her shoulders and a lot of her chest, and she was trying to pull the sleeves up to cover her shoulders. Curious, I asked if she had a problem. She said that her friend was lately giving her advice on how to attract guys, and one of the things she told her was to wear shirts like that, but she was kinda uncomfortable. After that she was just like, "oh well, I'll get used to it." I figured I'd help her out.

"Would you like a guy's point of view on how to be attractive?"
"Uh, sure, I guess."
"Alright, cover up your chest, shoulders, and thighs, and pull that hair out of your face."

She had a look of shock on her face, "Wait, what? I-I'm not attractive like this?"
"Yes, you are attractive, but if any other guy were to look at you, they'd call you hot, while if you covered up and showed your face, they would say you were beautiful, pretty, gorgeous, et cetera. Would you rather be hot or beautiful?
"I ... I guess I'd rather look beautiful ... but why doesn't the other way work? I've seen guys look at me and stuff."
"They're looking at your chest or your butt, not you, you is here *point to face*"
"What do you mean?"
"If you really want a guy to like you, make them look at your face, not your boobs."
"Why?"
"Because then all they'll want is sex."
Another look of shock, "... Really??"
"Yes, if you don't let him have a chance to look there, then they'll be forced to look at your face, THAT'S where the real beauty is at."
"... You know, I'm gonna try that, but do I have to pull my hair back?"
"How else are they gonna look there? It doesn't matter how pretty you think or don't think you are, it's what they think that matters. We're all harder on ourselves than other people, so you may think that you aren't pretty, but one guy may take a single look at you and think, 'Wow, she's gorgeous, I should go talk to her,' ya get me?"
"Yeah ... I got ya ... I'll try it out, thanks, stranger!"

In just Two Weeks, My life will begin to change drastically, and I won't have regular contact with those I love. Am I ready for it? Especially with the fact that I've fallen in love yet again. When I think about it though ... I think I am ready. I think I can go without constant contact for two whole years. Fallen in love ... again ... but I'm not afraid of betrayal. I feel like you've opened up completely for me. I know I have for you, there's nothing I've held back. I'm almost not afraid anymore that you won't wait for me. Even though this is yet again that I've fallen in love, it's so much different than the other times, and something inside me tells me that you will wait, that I will come home and we can resume our relationship, maybe taking it further. I can honestly say that I've never felt this way before, but I never want it to go away. I want to feel this forever. I want to be with you forever.

When I look back, you were pretty much the very first person I had a crush on. The day you told me that someone liked me ... I looked at you first and thought, 'wow, she's pretty, and she's talking to me? maybe ...' but my stupidity kicked in when you mentioned that someone liked me. Foolishly, I chased after a girl who would eventually dump me, but I befriended you in the process. I was even more foolish when I went out with number two, I barely even knew her, and yet I thought she accually liked me? She barely respected me and my standards. All through that year, though, you were there to help me. I remember sitting with you that one youth conference, I was trying to avoid someone, and you talked with me and wanted to know how I was doing. I remember wondering why you looked a little upset when I was describing number two. Through that year of being with her, we accually became closer, and I labeled you my sister, secretly hoping that that would keep you in my life. When number two broke up with me, it was heartbreaking for some reason, but the first person I wanted to talk to about it was you, because you always knew what to say to help. There was a period of time before number three when I talked to you more and got to know you, then once again, I let my hormones get the best of me when I found out that number three liked me. Never before had I met a two-faced snipe like her, but I was almost relieved when we broke up. In the months following, I talked to you more and more, until I was talking to you every night, in fact we kept wanting to talk every night. The night that I finally told you, my mind was conflicted against itself. I was finally realizing that I liked you, and that I wanted to go out with you. There was part of me wanting to ask you out, desperate to get to know you better at least. The other part kept telling me that I'm about to go on a mission, and that I can't possibly form a bond within the short amount of time I had. There was one small voice that didn't argue any point, and it only spoke up one time.

"You love her, you know you do, it may not be like romantic, but you love her as a friend and a sister, so who's to say you can't form a bond? You already have! So since you know you love her as a friend and sister, there's nothing wrong with admitting that you have a crush on her, because you know you do. Ever since the day you first locked eyes with her, you've secretly been helping her, befriending her, and keeping her happy. Don't you remember what you told Chase and Jon? You were jealous of them that they were going out with her, and you told them both that. You have a crush, you have a relationship more than just regular friends, just go for it! You got nothing to lose!"

That's when I told you. I expected an answer back like, "Oh really? Well, that's nice, I guess," Or maybe something like, "But I'm your sister, we can't do that," (someone else told me that before -.-) or maybe even, "Yeah, I kinda figured, but I'm sorry to say I don't like you that way." Needless to say, your response blew me away. All that time, and I never noticed that you liked me as well? Never noticed your joy when you were helping me? Never noticed your pain when you helped me through my relationships? I had the same reactions when helping you, so how did I not notice it from you? I was a little upset at myself for not noticing before, but then at some point you said you wouldn't have had it any other way. When I look back at the heartaches and tears, and your face and your voice always present and leading me through, I wouldn't have had it any other way as well. We have such a short amount of time, and it's ticking fast, but I know what I feel for you, and what you feel for me, and I know that it's growing stronger every day. I never could imagine life without you in it, but now I never want you to leave my side. I always wanted you to be one of my closest friends, but now I want you to be my best friend forever. I love you. I wish I could truly express how I feel, but it will have to wait a couple years, provided you really do wait for me. And honestly, I know I shouldn't ask or expect something like that, but I have a very strong feeling that you will, and that we will continue this relationship for many years after I return. I love you so much, and all I want is your happiness <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Forever

I just feel like talking about things that make me happy and smile/things I like and think are cool and/or funny ... that's a long title, lol

Her
Her smile
Her laugh
When she says "I love you"
Her blog
Mike Tompkins on Youtube
Rhett and Link on Youtube
Julian Smith on Youtube
Kid History on Youtube
Her
Rock music
Metal music
Guitar Hero
Her smile
My family
My awesome parents
My amazing brothers and sisters
Miles
My 22 crazy nieces and nephews
Her laugh
Writing or contemplating the plots of my planned video games
Mr. Rowe and the other Spanish teachers from high school
Jon Roberts
Mrs. Thornton and my entire English 101/102 class
When she says "I love you"
The church
My ward
The YSAs in my ward
The fact that I'm about to serve the Lord for two whole years
This gospel
My Heavenly Father
My Savior, Jesus Christ
Going to the temple
Reading her blog
Ronald Reagan
Herman Cain
Bill Whittle on PJTV
Steven Crowder on Youtube and Fox
Newsbusted on Youtube
Alfonzo Rachel on PJTV
Andrew Klavan on PJTV
Kruiser Kontrol on PJTV
Being in love with her
The feelng I get from reading anything she writes
Seeing her on Youtube
DmVsKc
Karaleastarshine
Her smile
Her laugh
Her voice
Holding her hand
Hugging her
Looking into her eyes
Love songs
Talking to her
Helping her through hard times
Making her happy
Her
Karalea Chapman
Everything about her
Life

In case you didn't notice, you are on here a lot. That's no accident. I love you so much, and I can't wait to see you soon. You are my everything, you mean the world to me, I want you Forever in my life. I love you more than anything <3

Speak

I was encountered by an interesting question, which I responded to with complete honesty, and then posed the question back ... How much do you love me?

The answer?

"Hmmm. I love you more than the sky is blue and the sun shines.. I would do anything for you. I want to be better because of you.. Because you amaze me and I think I should be everything I can be for you. Gosh I can't put it into words. I have no idea how you said all you said. I love you so much that tonight I had a hard time sleeping because all I could do is think of you and how you amaze me. Love you so much I can feel it. Like I know without a doubt that I am supposed to be with you right now. I love you. Its just hard to explain how much, babe."

Do you have any idea how much you blew my mind there?

I fell down into a chair I was so floored by it. You amaze me in every way. Everything more I learn about you just makes my heart soar and thickens this unbreakable bond that we seem to have right now.

I meant to say SOMETHING to your parents, at least a thank you for giving birth to such an amazing and beautiful daughter. So when you mentioned that we didn't have me call your dad, I spazzed out for a second. OF COURSE!! Oh my gosh, how did I forget to ask? I can't just ask through you, I have to do it myself. I want to be on their good side after all, and I want them to like me and me to like them, so duh I need their permission to take their beautiful priceless treasure on a night out. I'm glad he said it was ok, he accually said more, but that was the basic premise, haha.

I love you so much and I can't wait to see you again. I love reading your blog posts, and I plan on Speaking this way to you when we finally see each other again. And I hope you honestly Speak your mind, because I want to hear you say you love me after I say I love you. Yes, I will be first, haha :P

I love you more than anything in the world, and I meant everything that I put in that text, darling <3

Pretty Woman

Pretty Woman. I'm on the webcam with you, I don't care if the video isnt thatgood, I can still make out your beautiful face and hear your soothing voice, and that's all I need. Gosh you're so beautiful, I wish I could look into your eyes, but I don't think the video quality is that good, so I'll have to wait until Saturday.

You're such a Pretty Woman, although pretty just doesn't work, there needs to be a better word. Beautiful doesn't quite make the cut either, your beauty is indescribable. You keep walking away, and to be honest you take my heart with you. I love seeing your smile, it brightens my day, and you light up my life with your laugh. I wish I was really there in person so I could see you clearer, but I can see your beautiful face, so I feel at ease, at peace, I feel like I could face any obstacle, overcome any trial.

You just took off your glasses ... I'm definitely going to have to ask you to do that when I see you again. I can't even talk, you're so ... I can't ... you're so beautiful I'm literally speechless. I love you so much, I can' stop smiling you're so pretty. I love your smile. I love everything about you.

I hope this week goes by fast, I want to hold you in my arms, Pretty Woman <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

You Are My Sunshine

You Are My Sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray, you'll never know, dear, how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away.

Such a simple song, yet somehow it speaks everything on my mind. Words cannot express how much I love you. I wish I were with you right now and that I could tell you how much I love you while holding you close in my arms. You have made me so happy, happier than I've ever felt before in my life. I don't care if you've been getting upset or depressed for no reason lately, as long as you will let me be there for you and help you through the tears. I love you so much and I hope I can make you smile and be happy all the time. I love you more than anything in the world.

You Are My Sunshine, please don't take my sunshine away.

I love you, I wish I could say it over and over again, but that still wouldn't come anywhere near how I feel about you.

Pretender

I hate Pretenders. I've dealt with them for the last five or so years. Not only girls I've dated but other people as well. It's funny how when a girl broke up with me they'd always say they wanted to still be good friends and talk all the time, but two weeks later they talked trash about me and expressed how much they hated me. I realize then and there that the only reason that they went with me in the first place was to tell people they had a boyfriend or something like that. They pretended to like things about me, but then they were embarassed to be around me or never believed me when I complimented them or hated my extreme optimism.

Not only that, but we have Pretenders in the White House, all throughout the government. The top one being our "beloved" President Osama, I mean Obama. This Pretender claims to stick to America's values, yet he knows nothing about America, he knows nothing about it's values, he knows nothing about its beginnings. This Pretender claimed to have visited all of America, all ... 57 states?? How can you be president and not know how many states are in the US?? This country was founded on Christianity, and he is obviously a Muslim, so he has claimed America to be a Muslim nation, belittled our Founding Fathers, and insulted the Christian groups of the US. He has yet to release his birth certificate, but he has claimed that he was born in a certain hospital in Hawaii ... while someone else said it was a different hospital ... and while his grandmother claimed watching him be born in Kenya, so he must not be a true American citizen. Not only that, he promised to do a bunch of things when he was running, none of which I agreed with or believed, but he has yet to do any of it. He has promised to make things better, but he has tripled the deficit and debt, screwed thousands of jobs, initialized the worst healthcare plan in history, taken credit for crap he had no hand in, and just been an all-around moron. His approval rating has gone below 50%, so if he wins the election next year, that means that once again, Pretenders were at work, making dead people vote and screwing the people of the free world and moving us towards socialism.

I wanted to send a good night/morning message to my love on facebook last night, but I noticed my recent ex's status, "I hate how I feel when I see a picture of you after forgetting almost everything about you and the feelings I had for you ... Whatever guard I may have up almost immediately breaks to pieces. I honestly hate everything about you now. Here's to roughly two or so years later. And guess what? I found someone better like you always said I would. Remember that?" I don't know why I cared, and looking back at it, I don't think she means me, but for some reason I let it get to me and bring me down a little. I didn't want to disturb my darling, so I just told her about it on facebook. This beautiful daughter of God then sent me tons of messages that uplifted me and made me feel so loved. I know I worried you sick, and I hope I don't ever do that again, I love you so much, if only I could tell you how much, then I don't think you'd ever frown again, I don't think you'd ever feel upset again, I don't think anything could ever bother you again. I love you more than anything in the world, and I promise I will let you know next time this happens, and I hope you will do the same, because I don't want to go five minutes knowing that you aren't doing well, it racks my soul. I love you so much, thank you for actually caring, unlike the Pretenders that I've been with before, they merely said sorry, asked if I was ok, then proceeded to tell me about how they're doing or what's going on at the moment, "Oh, I'm sorry, you gonna be ok? I have a cat, yay! she's very pretty, haha." I knew you loved me, I knew you cared about me, but seeing those messages ... it really hit me that you honestly and truly love me. I think you may feel the same love that I feel for you. I love you more than anything in the world, and I wouldn't trade this for anything in the universe <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

With You

I had a lot of fun hanging out with a friend of mine, Eric Todd, after work today. We played Halo for like three hours, and after dealing with stupid immature morons nonstop for four hours ... blasting aliens away is vey good therapy, LOL.
Through it all, I felt like something was missing though. Then my phone buzzed, and I saw a text from Karalea "well." That was it, I'd somehow totally forgotten. I wanted to talk to her more, but I couldn't just leave my friend like that, that would have been rude. I was torn. I literally didn't say or do anything for about five or so minutes. I felt kinda dumb for not scheduling for tomorrow or something like that, it was a spur of the moment thing, and he's been Miles's and my friend for almost ten years. Then we got a break, and I went immediately and called her. I knew she was tired so I only planned on saying good night and that I love her. I wanted to at least do that for her, since I know how she loves my voice.
When Eric left, I went to her blog and it looked like she's had a rough day. I wish I could have been there With You. I wish I could have somehow been there for even two minutes, just to make everything go away. All I want is your happiness, cuz I'm truly in love with you. I know you didn't mean to make me feel bad, you didn't do anything really, it was all in my own head. If anything I'm glad you said something, otherwise I probably would have felt empty for the rest of the night. You are my reason to go through life, you mean everything to me, you ARE everything to me, and I love you more than words could even hope to begin to describe.
All I want is to be With You ... as soon as possible ... I want to hold you in my arms, and help you realize that everything will be ok in the end, everything will turn out alright. I want to hold your hand while staring eternally into your eyes. I want to see the smile on your face when I tell you how much I love you in person. I want to be With You forever, Karalea <3

All of Me

Me? I'm a straightforward person. If I don't like you, then you can usually tell; but if I don't like you, then there's something you need to fix, whether it's that you're stupid, immature, lazy, selfish, conceited, and so on and so forth.
However, if I do like you, then of course I like talking to you, I don't just give one-word answers, and we talk about the most random things. I like being around you, hanging out, doing just about anything.
Then we get to the special categories of people I know.
If you are family, then duh I like you and we can talk about literally anything. Since I'm the youngest, I look up to the rest of my family so much and I admire everything about them. I try to learn from them on just about every subject, but mostly the men. Jeremy teaches me a lot about music. Jacob and my father are my spiritual giants. Royal is an extremely awesome artist. Mom and the girls mainly give consolation. Miles I can talk to about ANYTHING.
Then there's one person who has her own category all by herself.
Karalea.
Last night I read "my eyes are burning because I'm trying to keep from crying ... never mind" and my mind and body went into autopilot. I got off the computer and called her then and there to try and cheer her up. As soon as she picked up though, I had no idea what to say other than that I love her. It took a while to get her laughing again, but once she did I felt a huge feeling of warmth and love inside, and a longing to see her again as soon as possible.
Everything I've wished for, everything I've dreamed of, everything that I've ever wanted in a girl, is right there. I've dreamt about her, I've wished for her, I've prayed for her, and here she is, saying that she's fallen completely in love with me. I have no idea how I got so lucky to be with someone so amazing and caring and beautiful, but it happened, and I hope it never ends.
This is All of Me.
Everything you admire about me, everything you love about me, everything you think of me as, this is it, I'm not holding anything back.
This is All of Me, fallen completely in love with you <3

Bound and Unbound

Addictions.

People have always told me that when they decided to move out and do whatever they wanted, that they became free to do whatever they wanted, so they started smoking and drinking and other stuff that's not healthy at all. They thought they were free, and they still do, and they still will up until the day they die. What they don't realize is they've in fact become a slave to themselves and their addictions. "Oh I can stop whenever I want to," yeah right, you just say that so people won't worry about you.

Bound.

You think you can be free to do whatever you want to do, so you smoke and drink, but smoking just tears up your lungs so you are physically limited, and drinking makes you mentally limited, therefore you are chained to the very things you sought refuge in, and you are a slave. If you live healthily, then you really can do whatever you want to do, because you'll be physically and mentally sound.

Unbound.

You think you're so free, so you go out and do everything that can really screw you over, so your life is cut very short cuz you got lung cancer, AIDS, and you just got drunk and crashed your car, so now you got diseases and shattered bones. Where's your freedom now? Can't go anywhere, can't do anything, gotta watch what you eat, that's some freedom.

Freedom is happiness. Freedom is love. Freedom is being able to go out with friends and family, play some sports or video games, eat whatever you want, and be in love with who you marry. It's not sitting on the couch, drinking beer, smoking a cigarette, and yelling at your "wife" to grab you another beer. Is that what you want to do for the rest of your life; lounge around and do nothing, day in and day out? If you really wanted freedom, you wouldn't let yourself go like that, you'd constantly be talking with friends about the next time you want to get together and have fun.

Relationship-wise, freedom happens when you fall in love. "I've been with so many guys, it's jut not worth it to me anymore. They just dump me whenever I won't do everything they want me to, I'm tired of looking for this perfect guy you keep telling me about, he just doesn't exist! I've actually started looking forward to being a 40-year-old single virgin, ya know? Ha ha ha!" Good friend of mine, we became friends in ninth grade and she always looked to me for advice. She's just one of the many people I hear about that say it's not worth falling in love or getting married, cuz over half of marriages in the world today end up in divorce. FALSE! That's absolutely false, in fact the only high rates of divorce are in the Hollywood area (no joke) and that percentage is really, at the highest, a little under 30%. Don't try and tell me that you "sign your life away once your married," or crap like "money goes down the drain when you get married." That's bullcrap; actual statistics show that married couples become richer together, provided at least one of them has a good paying job. Also, if they are truly in love, then money doesn't matter, they somehow find ways to make ends meet, it happens every time. Don't question me, that's the real statistics.

I'm happy to have fallen for her, I'm the happiest I've ever been, and probably ever will be. And if this relationship lasts longer than just "boyfriend and girlfriend," then I dont think I'll ever be upset again. I love you, Karalea, more than anything in the world. <3 <3 <3

When Worlds Collide

"Hey, what's up?"
"Not much, you?"
"Yeah, I'm doin' great, I got me a hot girl."
"Oh ... sounds nice ..."
"What about you? Get a girl, yet?"
"I guess you could say that, more like she's got me, she stole my heart away, haha"
"'Stole your heart?' What the heck, man? Are you going soft on me? Haha, well what have you done with her?"
"Hugged her, held her hand, stared into her eyes; yeah, call me a softy, I don't care, I'm not in relationships for sex, I'm in them for love."
"What? You mean you haven't-"
"Of course not, I love her for who she is, not cuz she's 'hot,' I feel 'hot' is morally degrading anyways."
"Really? ... That's actually really deep ... So, what's this 'Wonder Girl' like?"
"You just said it, she's a wonder girl. She has the same interests as me, for the most part. She makes me smile whenever I'm talking to her. She cheers me up when I'm upset and she can make me smile and laugh just by sending me a message. When she says 'I love you,' it sends chills through my body that winds up in a warm feeling in my chest and a huge dorky smile on my face. Her laughter and her smile make me feel so happy, so I try to keep her that way all the time. She has beautiful eyes that make me feel like I'm staring through eternity. When I hold her hand, it's so warm and soft, and I feel like I'm holding the hand of an angel. When I hug her, I feel like I'm holding the most precious, most rare, most beautiful jewel in the entire world. I'm in love, simple as that, haha."
"... That's unreal, man ... How can I get that?"
"I'm afraid you can't; there's only one of her, so that makes me the luckiest man alive, so you can't have it, hahaha. I'm only kiddin', man, I'm not sure what to tell you though. I have no idea how I got it, to be honest. All I can really say is treat her like she should be treated; like a Daughter of God."
"A Daughter of God? They're that special? ... I think I'll try it, thanks for the advice, bro."
"Not a problem, man, let me know how that goes."

I'm not kidding, this was a real conversation, and I could see the look of understanding in his eyes. When it was all over, I had an even greater feeling of love and happiness than ever before. It had the same impact as Worlds Colliding, and I almost started crying a little in public, luckily I hid it with a yawn, haha. I love you, Karalea, and I hope I've made you smile <3 <3

Loss of Control

I was reminded by a friend about terrible teachers I've had in high school. Everything they did was stupid, untactful, and immature for the most part. I really didn't like being treated like I knew absolutely nothing at all, I mean I was in High School, I had come this far, I don't mind you talking to me in simple terms to help me understand the subject, but when I'm questioning you about something, don't talk to me like I'm a mentally retarded eight-year-old, save that for elementary school kids. Talk to me like I'm my age, like an intelligent human being.
Blanket punishments, used when any ONE person causes a ruckus. If there's only ONE person that's causing trouble, then why in the world is EVERYONE being punished? Single them out, for cryin out loud. It's only one dork, it's not like you've Lost Control of the entire classroom.
My mind is constantly being diverted to Karalea. Every time she says something I forget anything else. By "anything else," I mean everything negative. She drives all of my troubles away and leaves me smiling bigger than before. I can't understand why anyone tells me that love ruins your life, cuz this love with her has made my life better, fulfilled, amazing, interesting, and just awesome in every way. I can't imagine my future without her, she's just by far the most amazing thing to ever happen to me in my entire life. I hope someday I can really tell her how I feel, because the way she describes her love for me just floors me every time, and I'm starting to tear up at her blog posts, I really love reading them.
I just love her in general, everything about her; I love her more than anything <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

One

One month before I leave. One single phrase to make my heart soar. One single tear that graces my cheek when I read her blogs and messages. One face that always floats in my mind, no matter what is going on. One person that makes me feel loved like never before. One dream that makes me smile ear to ear.
One love that has consumed me inside out.
I wish I could put into words how special I feel because of her, but that would probably take up a few books. Someone should invent a word to describe this feeling, this desire to want to be with her and hold her hand while staring longingly in her eyes and whispering "I love you." Wait, they already did, didn't they? It's just been misconstrued and misrepresented by radio, television, movies, celebrities, books, and the like. Love is so much more than what they show.
This is True Love.
Not the romance novels that tell a tale about two people that fall in love and never do anything else. Too many times I see people buying books that have a naked couple hugging or kissing on the front cover. They don't read any other part except for the sexual part of the relationship.
Not the movies and shows that show forbidden relationships that wind up in nothing but sex and then say that that is what love is. How is it that people believe through movies that if you really love someone that you will screw them whenever you get the chance? Oh, and that marriage doesn't matter at all, cuz then you're free to do whatever if you find you don't like the girl after all.
Not the stories posted about celebrites who get married five times, each time claiming that "this is the One." Or maybe about the "faithful husbands" who wind up having mistresses and other girlfriends at the same time. What do they have to say for themselves? They never thought it would come to light? Do they think this is just a game?
This is life.
And I've found my reason to live.
I'm in love with Karalea Chapman. <3

Dance Dance Dance

No, this isn't Dance Dance by Fallout Boy, or whoever did that one, that song sucks, lol, no this is Dance Dance Dance by Ratt, just thought I'd get that out of the way right now, lol.
I'd like to talk about dancing, of course.
I've been to Senior Homecoming, Senior Prom, and three Military Balls in high school, and each one had awful dancing, that honestly I wouldn't even call it dancing, it was more like sex with clothes on. All this "bumping and grinding" crap is really stupid and I would be highly uncomfortable doing it, especially like how these guys were doing it, they were freakin pulling up dresses while they danced anyway, why were the girls letting them? People, have some decency; any normal girl would castrate any dude who lifted up her skirt, so why is it different on the dance floor? I know it's not just the guys that start it, cuz my girlfriend at the time wanted to do it too until I snapped her out of it. If you really want to have a fun time dancing, then do it like they did back in the day; Swing-dancing!
You can really turn heads if you've practiced some swing dancing techniques, especially acrobatic stuff like I see at Mormon dances, good grief it's awesome! I know some stuff myself that's not too impressing, but it's a lot cooler than the crap that other people do. Just what I knew alone was enough to make half of the room stop what they were doing to watch me, and a reporter started snapping pictures (unfortunately they never made it anywhere in the paper or yearbook). I really want to learn ball-room dancing, stuff like tango, that would be amazing. Yes, it's possible to dance and have fun without being erotic and stupid. Just learn the Swing, it's easy to learn and improvise, and you can just Dance, Dance, Dance your heart away.

Maybe I'm Amazed

Yup, This is going to be a Karalea post, so brace yourself.
I'm Stricken by how amazing you are; and I love everything about you.
You Rock my world Like a Hurricane; I've never met anyone like you. You've always been there for me, even when I was with someone else, and that just made me closer to you.
There's No One Like You in all the world; no one as beautiful, awesome, unique, caring, and adorable as you are.
Maybe I'm just Amazed at the way you look at me, or talk to me, or help me when I'm upset, or even just make me smile even bigger than I already am, but in any way, you amaze me and I love your company.
When I'm Gone, I hope that you write me as often as you can, because I'll definitely be writing you. I don't know if I'll be allowed to say I love you, but know that I always will.
Ok, enough of that, it's getting too hard, lol. Seriously though, you've totally shattered my understanding of what love is all about. I wouldn't trade this feeling for anything in the world. Just like you, if there's a love song playing then I automatically think of you; the difference is that I never stop thinking about you in the first place :P I cannot imagine a future without you in it, and to be honest I never could. There was always a spot for you in my heart that I secretly hoped you would fill. No, you're the most amazing, my beautiful princess. You can make me smile just when I think of you. If I even just read or hear your name I think of being with you. I can't wait to see you again so I can stare into your eyes, and I think this time I'm going to hold your hand while I do that to make the moment last. I don't want this relationship to ever end, cuz you've even made me realize things about myself that I never put much thought into. I love your spirituality; there aren't too many girls in the stake that have as great a testimony as you do. You always make sure to let me know in your blog that you are who you are because of the gospel, and I love who you are, so don't ever change. You really touched me with your testimony on eternal families when you talked about your grandpa. In fact, it reaffirmed MINE and reminded me of my own grandpa who pased away; he was a lot like yours in many ways, mostly his good attitude and nature toward everything. With every day and with every conversation with you, I love you more and more and want to be with you. No, this isn't a joke, this isn't any "I love you" that people say just to get something back from someone they think is hot. No, this is real, this is the best thing to ever happen to me.
I love you more than anything in the world, and Nothing Else Matters <3

Sweet Child O' Mine

She's got a smile, and it seems to me,
Reminds me of childhood memories,
Where everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky,

Now and the when I see her face,
She take me away to that special place,
And if I stare too long, I'd probably break down and cry,

Whoa, oh oh, Sweet Child O' Mine,
Whoa, oh oh oh, Sweet Child O' Mine,

She's got eyes of the bluest skies,
As if they thought of rain,
I'd hate to look into those eyes and see an ounce of pain,

Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place,
Where as a child I'd hide,
And pray for the thunder and rain to quietly pass me by,

Whoa, oh oh, Sweet Child O' Mine,
Whoa, oh oh oh, Sweet Love of Mine.

This is one of two songs I actually like by Guns N' Roses, but it's still one of my favorites. Many have tried to cover it, but every single one of them has failed; Only Axl can do this song, it's just impossible for anyone else. I really don't want to turn this into an "I love her" post, but it just might become that. As much as I hate to say it, I think I like the whole long distance relationship at the moment. It gives me something to look forward to, cuz she really is strikingly beautiful so I can't wait to see her again. I can't wait to hold her hand and stare into her eyes. I can't wait to give her a hug. I can't wait to do anything wth her, really. The whole situation make me think of guys I knew in High School, that I honestly thought of them as pathetic, because of their relationship with their girlfriend. I'd see them upset or depressed of something, so I'd ask what's up and they'd respond that she got her phone taken away so they can't text or call. I go off on him, cuz he can see her in his next freakin class while I gotta wait weeks to see the one I love, so why complain? Love has no bounds, so obviously there's something else you feel instead, besides you break up with her and go out wih some other girl the next freakin day, so why even bother? His relationships never last longer than a few months, so obviously he's very finicky OR he's just not a good guy, but either way the girls should take a hint. He just plays with their hearts and then tosses them out with the trash.

So there's a bully at school, and he picks on one kid a lot. One day he gets physical and pushes and hits the kid, but the kid hits back. A fight breaks out and the kids get sent to the principal. Who gets in trouble? BOTH?!?!?! Why is the victim in trouble for fighting? Wait a second, his punishment is greater than the bully's?!?! You've got to be joking!! So, wait, what happens if the kid doesn't fight back? He's still in trouble? What the crap for? The school system is completely ridiculous. If my son is ever bullied, I want him to fight back, cuz that's American. If he fights back and gets suspended, I'm gonna sit him down and play video games with him, cuz A: that's American, and B: he shouldn't get in trouble for defending himself.

I can't write about anything else, she's all over my mind and I can't think of anything else. I'm really looking forward to the day that I can tell her my feelings for her. She's amazing in every way! We can talk about almost anything ... even though it takes a while to come up with a topic, hahaha. I love her so darn much, and I so can't wait to see her again.

I guess that's it for tonight, sorry for being random and bipolar, haha <3

Shame Shame Shame

I've become increasingly aggravated with the dress standard nowadays. Girls need to stop flaunting their bodies like some sex object and the men need to stop dressing like women, come on!
But Jotty, remember? There's a whole thing about freedom of speech.
Yeah, well remember what I said before about that? Your right to swing your fist ends where my nose begins. Plus, do they have any sense of dignity? Any sense of, well, common sense? If a girl dresses like that, she's gonna get guys looking her way, but not at her face, no they're gonna find every chance and reason to look up her skirt and down her shirt. How do guys even think that tight pants are comfy? I remember when that was the only pair of pants I had in fourth grade, and kids made fun of me for it, but then five years later they're wearing even tighter pants, wtc?! How do you even fit in that? How is your ... special place ... even comfy? ugh, I don't even wanna think about it.
And the multiple piercings and tattoos? Piercings are like sneezes; two in a row is ok, but once you hit five then it's annoying. You look like you fell face first into a tackle box, how in the world do you think its cool? I've always had this weird fear of tattoos, like if I see someone with tattoos then I'm immediately intimidated by them, I have no idea why to be honest. Why do you get tattoos everywhere though? I mean yeah to get them on the arm or leg is ok or whatever, but why would you get it on your back, neck, or sensitive areas? How are you going to see them on your back and who in the world is going to look at the other ones? That's just a waste of freakin money!
And what is this telling the youth of our generation? That it's ok to dress our girls as sluts? That's a surefire way to get them raped! And the men? That it's ok for us to look like complete morons? Shame on you, people, Shame Shame Shame.
Personally, I want people to know me for who I am. Anyone is comfortable talking to a well-groomed but casual guy, but only a few kinds of people can stand talking to someone who has metal rings and pictures all over his body, or women who showcase their boobs and butt. Do they like people staring at them in disgust? Do they like little kids laughing at them cuz they look funny or running away scared of them? I can throw a ping pong ball through your ear, that gets your attention? Why are you mad? You're the one who put those holes there. Now little kids are gonna hook you up with carabiners and pretend they're climbing a mountain. Oh, you're mad again? But you put them there, you should have known this kinda stuff would have happened.
You hear about women getting raped and stuff like that, how did they dress? Most likely, it's known they dressed pretty poorly, yet people are still shocked that it happened. "But she was the sweetest girl, she was friends with everyone" yeah, I'll bet she was, but having a nice personality, unfortunately, does not cancel out her slutty clothing, cuz the dude's not going to ask her what she's like before he abuses her, that's what raping is about; they just do it and leave the girl there after they've been satisfied. They don't give a crap what she's like inside, they just see that she's "hot" and notice that she dresses poorly, and that tells them that she wants attention and sex, which of course is probably not true, but that's what the guy sees.
Its things like this that make me so glad that I'm in love with her and not anyone else, I doubt she would even consider the thought of dressing like that. She's smart and beautiful and goodhearted, and that's really all that matters. I love her with all my heart <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Through the Glass

When you get what you want in your struggle for self,
and the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself,
and see what the man has to say.

For it isn't your father or mother or wife,
whose judgements upon you must pass;
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life,
is the one staring back Through the Glass.

Some people may say you're a straight shootin' chum,
and think you're a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum,
if you can't look him straight in the eye.

He's the fellow to please - never mind all the rest,
for he's with you clear up to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test,
if the man in the glass is your friend.

You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
and get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears,
if you've cheated the man in the glass.
-Anonymous-

I heard this once and really liked it, there are only a few poems that I like, because I don't like poetry in general, my english teachers were weird about it so I blame them, lol.

I just had a big discussion with my parents about issues in a circle of people we know. I don't understand how anyone can be as un-Christlike as this man, instead of reaching out to help someone who is obviously in critical need of fellowshipping, he refuses to even speak to her. He is so full of pride that he looks down on our family and refuses to apologize for wronging us whenever something happens. I say refuse because he KNOWS he was wrong, but he will NOT admit it. He has only selfish, prideful feelings and doesn't want to be proved wrong by anyone, ESPECIALLY a woman.

Before the discussion, I watched an incredible movie that some might mistake for a chick-flick, Tangled. I don't like really romantic movies, but I do like cute, comedic, love stories. I've always wanted to be in one of those kinds of relationships with a girl; being romantic at one point then wrestling each other to get the last cookie with one of us finally sitting atop the other in triumph while munching on the cookie in the next moment. That's why I love Karalea so much, cuz I'm pretty sure I could hold her hand and stare into her eyes, and then she would fight for that cookie and win, lol.

Unforgiven

I believe in the power of forgiveness. There's not a person whom I haven't forgiven. I've found through experience that to forgive someone not only helps them, but it also helps you. It helps you to put it out of your mind, so you can forget about it. I've learned that the power of forgiveness has no limits and heals age-old wounds. One person I've found very hard to forgive, however, is myself. If I've ever screwed up about anything I beat myself up about it. Eventually I can get over it but it takes a while to realize who the feelings REALLY come from, ya know? But to be Unforgiven by someone really hurts me, and it takes much longer to get over it. The only times its happened, though, were only for stupid reasons, so I haven't had much of a problem with it, thankfully.
I found a bookmark that has a poem on it that I really like:
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low, and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won, had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far.
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem worse, that you must not quit.
There's another I've found, but I'll save it for another post, lol

Perform This Way

Just read her blog ... now I wanna talk about music, hahaha, although I DID think about writing about it before, so I hope she doesn't see me as a copycat ><
I am a loyal listener of Rock and Metal, but I am also choosy of what I listen to. Before I download a song, I look up the lyrics and if they have any one or more of what's on my "list" then I don't dowload it at all:
-tons of cursing
-F bomb
-sexual references
-hidden meanings
-anti anything, but mainly military, God, or women
-tons of screaming
Stuff like that. I don't mind a word here and there, like D or H, but I don't like A and B, and F definitely means I don't like it. I also only like plain Metal, meaning stuff from the eighties, where the big contest was who could sing the highest and who could play the fastest. Judas Priest's Rob Halford definitely won singing the highest, but I'm not sure who could really play the fastest, lol. The Metal music that I listen to is when it started out, the pure metallic sound of bands like Metallica, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Anthrax, some of Megadeth, and Dragonforce (although they're their own category all together, Speed Metal). I don't like death metal, or screamo, or stuff like that, cuz it just seems way too violent or something, I don't know, lol.
Alongside pure Metal is Hair Metal, which means metal bands who also wear flashy costumes and tons of makeup, but mainly known for either really long and crazy hair or crazy wigs. A few prominent examples are Kiss and Twisted Sister, although I don't really like Kiss because all of their songs sound almost exactly the same, so bleh. A couple more obscure Hair Metal bands include Queensryche and Dio, although they went more for the long hair rather than costumes. They also were more concerned about soaring vocals; my favorite singers are Rob Halford, Geoff Tate, and Ronnie James Dio (I'm still kinda upset that Dio is dead T.T)
Rock is very tasteful, but only when they rerain from hitting any of the items on my "list," lol. It looks like I lean more toward Alternative Rock, like Three Doors Down, Rise Against, and Shinedown. I love their harmonic vocals; that's really the epitome of Rock, is vocals. The messages of their songs are mainly geared towards relationships, or more accurately, towards being in love. There's one song that I used to absolutely love, Here Without You by Three Doors Down, but too many memories became attached to it, so I don't listen to it anymore, and I shut it out when it comes up on the radio or something. To be honest I've kinda started disliking the song entirely.
Now for the dissing; I'm completely biased against rap. I don't think there is any talent behind it at all, I mean there's no singing, it's just some dude talking with music in the background, and most of it is cussing, and most of THAT is racist or f-bombing. I hear Eminem talking about how much he's opposed to censorship in music, saying that it's against Free Speech ... I live by this: your right to swing your fist ends where my nose begins. Meaning yeah you have a freedom of speech, but when it starts to offend people and it attacks certain religions, races, creeds, or anything like that, then it becomes a problem. I don't think it should be completely done away with, no, but I think it should be censored when played by public things like football games or radio stations. I feel the same way about Metal and Rock, if they are really offensive or something like that then I think it should be censored, like they usually do. Some people say I'm a hypocrite when I talk about Linkin Park, because I like them. They are NOT rap, however, because they sing, harmonize, and play very well. I don't really consider them screamo either because they sing more than scream.
Country ... I've been raised in an anti-country-music home, so naturally I find it distasteful. I'm not saying I hate all of it, because I've heard a few good country songs ... then again the reason I thought they were good was because they sounded more rock than country, lol. The majority of all the country music I have heard talked about: sex, women, beer, porches, trucks, dogs, and fishing. And I find all of that very stupid to sing about. Another thing is their singing and guitar playing, ugh it sounds so awful, it's way to redneck sounding and twanging and I don't like that, especially severe redneck accents, blech.
Pop, techno, and other similar sounding music is mostly blah to me, I only like a select few of Michael Jackson's stuff, but the rest of it seems way too sexually explicit and that turns me off immediately. To me, it's mostly characterized nowadays by singers like Katy Perry, Beyonce, Lady Gaga, and other slutty singers.
Finally, you got Weird Al ... He's his own category all together, I mean he's clean, very talented, and hilarious, and above all he's just out there, he Performs his own Way.
Now that I've got that off my chest, I think that'll be it for the night, lol <3

Nothing Else Matters

So my internet went out for a while, it was so stupid and we had no idea why it happened. Yesterday went pretty well, I learned a bit in church and ate a lot of desserts ^.^
I keep reading her blog, and rereading it, and rerereading, and more times, I just love her so much. She says that she isn't trying to make her blog into a "i love jotty" thing, and I believe her, I'm actually trying not to do that here as well, but like her, she's been on my mind a lot. She said she doesn't feel worthy to be with me, or something like that, which I don't buy. I think it's the other way around. I feel like she deserves a lot more from me, seeing as she's gone through a lot more than I have. I've seen every time her relationship is messed up, every time her friend made her upset, every time her heart was broken, I feel I should make up for what's been done to her. I don't necessarily feel compelled to do it, I want to. I want her to know how much I love her, but I just can't seem to quite spit it out, it never fully captures the meanings I want it to.
I looked up the song from her blog, and I really liked it, it really seemed to fit our situation. I've started listening to a lot more songs that make me think of her, and I always imagine myself singing to her, although I'm pretty sure I'd screw up, haha. I've even tried playing and singing All I Ask of You at the same time, in secret of course, cuz I have a really hard time playing when people are watching me. There are even lines from this song that remind me of her, and it's a Metallica song, lol
Trust I seek, and I find in you,
Every day for something new,
Open mind for a different view,
Never opened myself this way,
All these words I don't just say,
Just a few of the lines from the song, but they still help, lol
I remember people telling me when I was younger that metal bands like Metallica were evil and satanic and all this other stuff. Then one day I was in the car with my brother Jacob and he put in a Metallica CD. I thought, "wait a minute, I thought Metallica was bad, why is my brother listening to them?" Indeed, I was perplexed, I thought very highly of Jacob, and I still do. In fact I see him as one of my spiritual inspirations, because he has so much wisdom and knowledge of the gospel, and I can't help but be drawn in to all of his lessons. So I figured if he could listen to them, then maybe they weren't as bad as people told me. Sure enough, my best friend in the entire world (my brother Miles) started downloading a few Metallica songs, and I was immediately impressed by them. Later down the road, I learned that my favorite game series, Guitar Hero, was coming out with a game all about Metallica songs, so I got it as soon as it came out, and I fell in love with it (jk, lol). Along with Guitar Hero games, and a developing love for Metallica, I started asking Jacob what other bands he listened to, and I found Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Queensryche, Anthrax, Shinedown, and other bands, and they just blew my mind, hahaha.
For the last two nights, I've replayed over and over the last thing that we did at adventureland, when I took off her glasses and just looked into her eyes. Her mezmorizing, beautiful eyes. I remember it felt like I was staring at her for an eternity before we broke eye contact and she left. The feeling I had felt familiar to me, so I tried to think of where I felt it last. Was it with a girl? No. Was it hanging out with friends? Nah. Was it being with my family at the big reunion a couple years ago? Kinda, not quite there. What about with Miles? Almost. The temple? That was it, when I went into a specific room. I've told her about it, but I literally could not think about ANYTHING negative, it was just impossible. The only things on my mind were my parents telling me about their own experiences, telling Miles about how I felt, and wanting to take her in there to show her what I meant. I am convinced that she would feel the same thing that I did, so I really hope I can see her face when it does happen. It's the most unique feeling in the world, and I so want to feel it again.
I love my family, my mother, my father, my brothers, my sisters, and Miles. I love my church, I love my Heavenly Father, my ward family and friends, and the missionaries. I love my true friends, I love Her.
And Nothing Else Matters.

What is Love?

I think I remembered something else I wanted to talk about, well a few things actually.
For one, I don't like it when people are under the assumption that someone they know is an absolute angel and that they are perfect in every way, and when I try to tell them otherwise they just shut me out and say I don't know anything. Then they're completely shocked when they find out I was right, gee how do ya like that?
Secondly, I like watching young teens in relationships thinking they're in love, I mean come on you're only 13 and you just met the kid, how do you know? Yes, I believe in love at first sight, but I also believe it's extremely rare, and only a handful of people in the history of the entire world have experienced it. Those are the kinds of people that I like to lecture, cuz they don't know a thing about love. Heck, I was one of them once, so I can speak from experience.
But What IS Love? Sure we see all kinds of couples together, from an abusive, young, relationship to an old, sweet, loyal couple that still holds hands after fifty years of marriage, does just beng in a relationship mean that you know what love is? I say no; take the instance of the abusve young couple that we've all seen. She may even have a black eye whenever you see her, but whenever you do, he is always telling her everything to do, and will NOT take no for an answer, so if he wants something then she gives it to him because she doesn't want him mad at her, and maybe he will reward her with something late at night. The problem is that he thrives on control, and if he doesn't have that control then he uses physical means to get it. The only thing that he truly loves is her body, and he will use it however he wants. She, on the other hand, I don't believe has any idea what love is, because she's just afraid of getting hurt, it's almost like she's just in it so she can tell people that she has a boyfriend or a husband or whatever. I don't think I'll ever understand them, and hopefully someday they will both wake up and realize they were wrong about everything.
Then you go to the complete opposite end of the spectrum; the old, sweet, loyal couple that still holds hands after so long. They know they aren't perfect, they know they have way too many faults, but they work at improving themselves and each other. This is the kind of couple that you will see her or him getting the other whatever they want, but not out of fear, and actually without much asking. If she knows that he has an aching back, she happens to know how to massage, so she goes over and helps him deal with the pain. Instead of control, they thrive on each other's happiness. He could care less what she looked like on the outside, because that's not what he fell in love with; he fell in love with her personality: her humor, her insight, her intuition, her thriftiness, her common sense, everything about who she is. That's why you might see the two ugliest looking people you've ever seen be so in love with each other, because they look at the heart.
Love is a very complicated emotion, and as such is only understood after either many years or after so many broken hearts. I'm not going to say I know exactly what love is, but I think I have a good idea of it. I could write down everything I know about it, but that would take way too long, so here are a few highlights of true, pure love that I've gathered:
-complete loyalty and dedication, thriving off of each other's well-being rather than corrupt feelings
-understanding weaknesses, but not criticizing; instead, helping
-joy at their happiness and upsetting at their sadness
-longing to see the other
-more emotional contact than physical (rather than petting, constant cuddling, or french kissing all the time, you discuss, converse, admire, stare into eyes, or other bonding)
-smiling all the time, especially when you see who the text or call is from
-resolving rather than arguing
-holding hands at every opportunity
-writing back and forth, especially if the other is gone with military or something like that
-constant laughter
-wanting to brag about their significant other at nearly every opportunity, especially during engagement or whenever they do something great and spectacular
-wanting to meet and know all of their friends
-encouragement
-uplifting when they're down for any reason
I could go on, but I think you get the idea, there's no way to describe in words the feeling of love. I remember listening to an old radio show about how aliens destroy every human except for two people whom they study and demand answers about life from. They have also captured a few of every animal on the earth, but after a while they notice that no matter how much they feed and nourish them, they refuse to eat, and they begin dying one by one. When they question the humans, they give a simple answer; Love. Every creature needs love in order to survive, so when they demonstrate by holding and petting a cat, the cat purrs rather loudly and then starts eating the food. Love drives the world, whether it be love of God, love of country, love of friends and family, or love of any worldly thing, love makes the world survive.
God's love for us is so great that He sacrificed His only begotten son so that we can all go back to live with Him again. That, to me, is True, Pure Love, and I'm not sure if anyone on this earth can ever feel that level of love. I do, however, believe that anyone can experience the step below, True Love. You hear about it in stories and fairy tales, but do you ever see it or experience it? Only if you look for it. I once saw a somewhat young (like twenty-five or so) athletic man with his wife at an amusement park. It looked like she had been through better times. Her legs were thin and frail, her face was scarred, and she was using crutches. I'm thinking she was in some terrible accident. The point is I know they were still happily married and in love because they both wore rings that kinda matched, they held hands during all the rides, and at one point I saw her lean over to him and say that she was having a great time, after which he kissed her on the lips, smiled, and told her he loved her. THAT is True Love ... and I think I'm feeling it right now for a special someone :) <3

Silent Lucidity

It's funny how a lot of my favorite songs are soft rock songs or disney songs. I've told a few people that I've always wanted to do the solo "I Can Go the Distance" from Hercules.
Today started out weird, I had to go outside and push carts for an hour and a half at work, but when it came time for lunch I went home and changed, that made it a lot better, haha.
As soon as I got off work, it was off to meet her at Adventureland. I gave her a big hug, but it wasn't my best, I'm saving that one for when she sees me off at the airport ;) We found Josh, JJ, and the other YSAs from my ward there and hung with them for a while, playing Guitar Hero and riding the go-karts. Then Karalea, me, and her friend Kaitlyn went to play minigolf ... we all sucked, haha, but it's not like we were there to critique each other. She has really soft hands and I get a warm feeling when I hug her.
Even just talking on the phone is great, hearing something is a lot better than reading it, so I love hearing how her day went, what she thought of everything, etc. I kinda stand off to the side and smile in Silent Lucidity, enjoying the knowledge that she's happy and listening to everything that went on.
I had something else I wanted to write, but I forgot O.o s I guess this will be it for the night <3