Nothing Else Matters

So my internet went out for a while, it was so stupid and we had no idea why it happened. Yesterday went pretty well, I learned a bit in church and ate a lot of desserts ^.^
I keep reading her blog, and rereading it, and rerereading, and more times, I just love her so much. She says that she isn't trying to make her blog into a "i love jotty" thing, and I believe her, I'm actually trying not to do that here as well, but like her, she's been on my mind a lot. She said she doesn't feel worthy to be with me, or something like that, which I don't buy. I think it's the other way around. I feel like she deserves a lot more from me, seeing as she's gone through a lot more than I have. I've seen every time her relationship is messed up, every time her friend made her upset, every time her heart was broken, I feel I should make up for what's been done to her. I don't necessarily feel compelled to do it, I want to. I want her to know how much I love her, but I just can't seem to quite spit it out, it never fully captures the meanings I want it to.
I looked up the song from her blog, and I really liked it, it really seemed to fit our situation. I've started listening to a lot more songs that make me think of her, and I always imagine myself singing to her, although I'm pretty sure I'd screw up, haha. I've even tried playing and singing All I Ask of You at the same time, in secret of course, cuz I have a really hard time playing when people are watching me. There are even lines from this song that remind me of her, and it's a Metallica song, lol
Trust I seek, and I find in you,
Every day for something new,
Open mind for a different view,
Never opened myself this way,
All these words I don't just say,
Just a few of the lines from the song, but they still help, lol
I remember people telling me when I was younger that metal bands like Metallica were evil and satanic and all this other stuff. Then one day I was in the car with my brother Jacob and he put in a Metallica CD. I thought, "wait a minute, I thought Metallica was bad, why is my brother listening to them?" Indeed, I was perplexed, I thought very highly of Jacob, and I still do. In fact I see him as one of my spiritual inspirations, because he has so much wisdom and knowledge of the gospel, and I can't help but be drawn in to all of his lessons. So I figured if he could listen to them, then maybe they weren't as bad as people told me. Sure enough, my best friend in the entire world (my brother Miles) started downloading a few Metallica songs, and I was immediately impressed by them. Later down the road, I learned that my favorite game series, Guitar Hero, was coming out with a game all about Metallica songs, so I got it as soon as it came out, and I fell in love with it (jk, lol). Along with Guitar Hero games, and a developing love for Metallica, I started asking Jacob what other bands he listened to, and I found Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Queensryche, Anthrax, Shinedown, and other bands, and they just blew my mind, hahaha.
For the last two nights, I've replayed over and over the last thing that we did at adventureland, when I took off her glasses and just looked into her eyes. Her mezmorizing, beautiful eyes. I remember it felt like I was staring at her for an eternity before we broke eye contact and she left. The feeling I had felt familiar to me, so I tried to think of where I felt it last. Was it with a girl? No. Was it hanging out with friends? Nah. Was it being with my family at the big reunion a couple years ago? Kinda, not quite there. What about with Miles? Almost. The temple? That was it, when I went into a specific room. I've told her about it, but I literally could not think about ANYTHING negative, it was just impossible. The only things on my mind were my parents telling me about their own experiences, telling Miles about how I felt, and wanting to take her in there to show her what I meant. I am convinced that she would feel the same thing that I did, so I really hope I can see her face when it does happen. It's the most unique feeling in the world, and I so want to feel it again.
I love my family, my mother, my father, my brothers, my sisters, and Miles. I love my church, I love my Heavenly Father, my ward family and friends, and the missionaries. I love my true friends, I love Her.
And Nothing Else Matters.