Two Weeks

So this girl came into my line, and she was fussing with her shirt. It was the kind of shirt that revealed her shoulders and a lot of her chest, and she was trying to pull the sleeves up to cover her shoulders. Curious, I asked if she had a problem. She said that her friend was lately giving her advice on how to attract guys, and one of the things she told her was to wear shirts like that, but she was kinda uncomfortable. After that she was just like, "oh well, I'll get used to it." I figured I'd help her out.

"Would you like a guy's point of view on how to be attractive?"
"Uh, sure, I guess."
"Alright, cover up your chest, shoulders, and thighs, and pull that hair out of your face."

She had a look of shock on her face, "Wait, what? I-I'm not attractive like this?"
"Yes, you are attractive, but if any other guy were to look at you, they'd call you hot, while if you covered up and showed your face, they would say you were beautiful, pretty, gorgeous, et cetera. Would you rather be hot or beautiful?
"I ... I guess I'd rather look beautiful ... but why doesn't the other way work? I've seen guys look at me and stuff."
"They're looking at your chest or your butt, not you, you is here *point to face*"
"What do you mean?"
"If you really want a guy to like you, make them look at your face, not your boobs."
"Why?"
"Because then all they'll want is sex."
Another look of shock, "... Really??"
"Yes, if you don't let him have a chance to look there, then they'll be forced to look at your face, THAT'S where the real beauty is at."
"... You know, I'm gonna try that, but do I have to pull my hair back?"
"How else are they gonna look there? It doesn't matter how pretty you think or don't think you are, it's what they think that matters. We're all harder on ourselves than other people, so you may think that you aren't pretty, but one guy may take a single look at you and think, 'Wow, she's gorgeous, I should go talk to her,' ya get me?"
"Yeah ... I got ya ... I'll try it out, thanks, stranger!"

In just Two Weeks, My life will begin to change drastically, and I won't have regular contact with those I love. Am I ready for it? Especially with the fact that I've fallen in love yet again. When I think about it though ... I think I am ready. I think I can go without constant contact for two whole years. Fallen in love ... again ... but I'm not afraid of betrayal. I feel like you've opened up completely for me. I know I have for you, there's nothing I've held back. I'm almost not afraid anymore that you won't wait for me. Even though this is yet again that I've fallen in love, it's so much different than the other times, and something inside me tells me that you will wait, that I will come home and we can resume our relationship, maybe taking it further. I can honestly say that I've never felt this way before, but I never want it to go away. I want to feel this forever. I want to be with you forever.

When I look back, you were pretty much the very first person I had a crush on. The day you told me that someone liked me ... I looked at you first and thought, 'wow, she's pretty, and she's talking to me? maybe ...' but my stupidity kicked in when you mentioned that someone liked me. Foolishly, I chased after a girl who would eventually dump me, but I befriended you in the process. I was even more foolish when I went out with number two, I barely even knew her, and yet I thought she accually liked me? She barely respected me and my standards. All through that year, though, you were there to help me. I remember sitting with you that one youth conference, I was trying to avoid someone, and you talked with me and wanted to know how I was doing. I remember wondering why you looked a little upset when I was describing number two. Through that year of being with her, we accually became closer, and I labeled you my sister, secretly hoping that that would keep you in my life. When number two broke up with me, it was heartbreaking for some reason, but the first person I wanted to talk to about it was you, because you always knew what to say to help. There was a period of time before number three when I talked to you more and got to know you, then once again, I let my hormones get the best of me when I found out that number three liked me. Never before had I met a two-faced snipe like her, but I was almost relieved when we broke up. In the months following, I talked to you more and more, until I was talking to you every night, in fact we kept wanting to talk every night. The night that I finally told you, my mind was conflicted against itself. I was finally realizing that I liked you, and that I wanted to go out with you. There was part of me wanting to ask you out, desperate to get to know you better at least. The other part kept telling me that I'm about to go on a mission, and that I can't possibly form a bond within the short amount of time I had. There was one small voice that didn't argue any point, and it only spoke up one time.

"You love her, you know you do, it may not be like romantic, but you love her as a friend and a sister, so who's to say you can't form a bond? You already have! So since you know you love her as a friend and sister, there's nothing wrong with admitting that you have a crush on her, because you know you do. Ever since the day you first locked eyes with her, you've secretly been helping her, befriending her, and keeping her happy. Don't you remember what you told Chase and Jon? You were jealous of them that they were going out with her, and you told them both that. You have a crush, you have a relationship more than just regular friends, just go for it! You got nothing to lose!"

That's when I told you. I expected an answer back like, "Oh really? Well, that's nice, I guess," Or maybe something like, "But I'm your sister, we can't do that," (someone else told me that before -.-) or maybe even, "Yeah, I kinda figured, but I'm sorry to say I don't like you that way." Needless to say, your response blew me away. All that time, and I never noticed that you liked me as well? Never noticed your joy when you were helping me? Never noticed your pain when you helped me through my relationships? I had the same reactions when helping you, so how did I not notice it from you? I was a little upset at myself for not noticing before, but then at some point you said you wouldn't have had it any other way. When I look back at the heartaches and tears, and your face and your voice always present and leading me through, I wouldn't have had it any other way as well. We have such a short amount of time, and it's ticking fast, but I know what I feel for you, and what you feel for me, and I know that it's growing stronger every day. I never could imagine life without you in it, but now I never want you to leave my side. I always wanted you to be one of my closest friends, but now I want you to be my best friend forever. I love you. I wish I could truly express how I feel, but it will have to wait a couple years, provided you really do wait for me. And honestly, I know I shouldn't ask or expect something like that, but I have a very strong feeling that you will, and that we will continue this relationship for many years after I return. I love you so much, and all I want is your happiness <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3